


Breathe

by CartoonJessie



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AU, AU that starts during The Last Jedi, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Kylo Ren has died in this AU, Pining, Slow Burn, Supreme Leader Armitage Hux, alright there is probably going to be some smut, if you can stand TLJ you can stand this fic, jedi bodyguard Rey, no real archive warnings apply
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2019-12-30 16:04:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18318641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CartoonJessie/pseuds/CartoonJessie
Summary: Hux finds Rey in the company of two corpses on the broken remains of the Supremacy: Snoke's and Kylo's. He would be a fool to fight her, and an even bigger fool if he didn't try to harness her powers for himself. With words as sweet as honey and a truce she can't refuse, he is able to lure her to his side. However, he soon realizes that she is untrained and traumatized by what she has been through. As the brand-new Supreme Leader of the First Order, he shouldn't bother with her, but his curiosity is hard to tame, and her kind nature kindles an affection he's never felt before.





	1. Breathe Girl, You Will Be Safe

**Author's Note:**

> A few words of thanks!  
> Thank you - bxwtothefirstorder on Tumblr for inspiring me with an edit she made four months ago! Your edit gave me this plot bunny and I've been unable to get it out of my head since. <3  
> Thank you - itsquietcompany on Tumblr for the beta-reading! You're doing an awesome job at correcting my mistakes without making me lose my self-confidence in writing. XD A tough feat to achieve! <3  
> Thank you - all the lovely girls on the Reyux Discord! Your words of encouragement mean a lot! I hope you enjoy this story. I'm publishing it here for you! <3  
> Thank you - nataly-leyton and pandacapuccino - for drawing commissions for this story - I'm a perfectionist and I probably made you do more edits than either of you wanted to do, but I'm so happy with the results and can't wait to share your beautiful artworks with the world! <3  
> Thank you - the reader - for getting this far, and I'm hoping you'll continue! For the story begins... now. Enjoy! <3

The Supremacy was no more. What had once been the First Order’s flag ship, was now split in two, adrift in space while thousands of officers and stormtroopers were making their way to the nearest escape pods. There were plenty of First Order vessels nearby that would pick up the survivors, but everyone already knew that many lives had been lost.

In fact, the first reports from the hangar now left Hux with the fear that Phasma was among the casualties. She hadn’t made it out unlike some stormtroopers and Officers who had already called in, and he feared the worst.

But something else that disturbed him was the complete silence of Snoke during all of this. Why hadn’t the Supreme Leader called for an evacuation? Why had nobody heard from him after that horrible attack of the Resistance? What was even going on in the throne room?

The elevator still worked – surprisingly – and as Hux stepped out of it, he immediately coughed, the scent of burned fabric tickling his nostrils in the most unpleasant way. It caused him to sneer as he looked around, and he saw that the red drapes had all burned and that there were corpses of Snoke’s guards everywhere.

As he stepped closer, he was cautious, and he saw that Snoke himself was cut in two, one half of his body still seated on the throne while the upper half of his body lay on the floor.

He nearly stopped breathing as he realized something. With Snoke dead… he could become the next Supreme Leader! His heart was hammering in joy and though his lips didn’t curl up into a smile, his eyes did light up.

But there were also two bodies on the floor a little further away, and that stopped his feeling of euphoria for now. The first body he recognized immediately as that of Kylo Ren, and his heart started beating faster in both anger and frustration. If he was still alive, then he would be in the way. Kylo would never accept him as his ruler, and he knew he had to dispose of him, but he also saw the body that lay a little further away, the back of a girl with brown hair whose body was shaking, no, not just shaking, she was sobbing, clutching her stomach and apparently unaware of his presence.

Hux slid his coat open with one hand and reached for his blaster with the other, but his heart was racing too now. Was it wise to kill someone he did not know? Or was it wiser to aim at Kylo Ren, just to be certain that he was dead and not just unconscious?

He took aim and pulled the trigger, the loud shot causing the girl to startle, and she turned over immediately, seeing how Hux stood with his blaster still aimed at Kylo Ren, and her eyes were full of tears as she cried: “He was already dead, you idiot!”

A bit surprised to be called such, he raised an eyebrow and lowered his blaster as he looked at her. He didn’t know why she was crying, but answered truthfully: “I wanted to be certain of it.”

She tried to dry her tears, her hands trembling, and that was when he noticed the lightsaber clipped to her belt, and he immediately put his blaster back underneath his cape, knowing one thing about Jedi and Sith and whatever Kylo Ren had been: they could stop blaster fire in mid-air, and so he knew that his weapon was useless.

But she hadn’t reached for her weapon or attacked him yet, which meant that she wasn’t the aggressive sort, at least not at this point, and he still had a way to turn this to his advantage. If she was the force-sensitive girl that had aided the Resistance, the Jedi… then he would be a fool not to use that.

The Emperor had had Darth Vader.  
Snoke had had Kylo Ren.  
He too could use a force-sensitive as his protector.

But he also realized that opposed to the Emperor and Snoke, he didn’t have the Force on his side, and she could easily overpower him at any turn. So if he wanted to make this work, he had to offer her everything she wanted.

“What happened here?” he asked, trying to assess the situation.

She didn’t answer though, instead looking up at him with a furrowed brow from where she sat on the floor, her gaze skeptical but her body language giving away that she was defeated.

“You’re General Hux,” she stated blankly, and he nodded.

“Well, Supreme Leader Hux now,” he corrected her, trying not to gloat. He looked again at the dead bodies of Snoke and Kylo Ren before he knelt down in front of her, lowering himself to her level. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he was trying to exert some of that wonderful power over her. To get the information she had to offer, he had to be gentler.

As she realized that she was talking to the man who held the fate of the galaxy in his hands now, she held her breath for a moment, tears welling up in her eyes.

“Snoke wanted to kill me, and Kylo Ren killed him,” she said truthfully but with tears in her eyes, omitting many details. “I asked Kylo if he would stop the attack on the resistance fleet, but he wouldn’t. We fought. I won.” Tears fell freely as she spoke those last words, and she added in a small voice: “Is the Resistance fleet dead now?”

“No,” he answered truthfully. “Not completely. Some got away, but we know where they are. There’s a resistance base on Crait – a very old one – that they’re hiding away in. They won’t survive a siege.”

She let her head fall completely now and her shoulders shook as she cried, resigning herself to the fact that all her friends would soon be dead.

He wondered why she was giving up already, but considered it a good thing. She was easier to manipulate this way, and he thanked the Force for it. Kylo Ren hadn’t been willing to pull back the attack on the resistance fleet, but he could tread with more caution in order to make an important ally.

“You are the girl from Jakku, are you not?” he asked her, his tone soft on purpose.

She didn’t respond, but closed her eyes. He had no idea what was going through her mind, but figured that she was mourning the lives of some of her new friends in the Resistance.

“We can still save your friends,” he told her with a gentle smile, and as she looked up at him, she seemed confused.

“Save them?” she asked, frowning.

He nodded. “I can’t ask them to surrender peacefully – well – I could, but they wouldn’t. But _you_ can convince them. You can go to them and speak on my behalf, tell them that if they surrender, they can continue their lives among the people of the First Order. All this fighting has cost too many lives, on both sides. We’re not bringing stability this way, we’re only upsetting the galaxy more. We need an alliance. We need peace.”

She was looking to him as he spoke, and he hoped that his words were easing her mind, and for a moment her gaze grew gentler and her breathing calmer, but then she shook her head.

“Why should I believe you? You destroyed the Hosnian system. You’re the one who’s responsible for the annihilation of billions. And what is the alternative? Do they need to die if they don’t surrender? Why would you even spare my friends or me now that you’re so close to victory?”

He knew that whatever he said next needed to be perfect. If he fucked up now, he could kiss their alliance goodbye.

“I can’t bring peace on my own,” he said honestly. “The galaxy is still divided, even if I kill every last one of your friends. But you’re a Jedi, are you not? Jedi were always peacemakers and peacekeepers. I need that.”

She cried at his words, her lips trembling, and he wondered why she was so upset.

“I’m nobody,” she said as she shook her head. “I can’t.”

Her lack of confidence was disconcerting. Maybe she wasn’t the kind of person Hux had imagined her to be. He had heard Kylo and Snoke speak of her as though she was strong, perhaps the strongest Force user in the galaxy, and he was hoping that she would have made for a strong ally as well. Was she giving up the fight already?

“You killed the strongest people in the First Order,” he continued, hoping to inspire her somehow. “You could even kill me, right now, and I wouldn’t be able to stop it in any way.” That wasn’t a lie, but he hoped that the truth could disarm her completely, so she certainly wouldn’t think of him as a threat or a person to murder. “You could bring your friends that news. Tell them a new era is beginning – one where we work together to make this galaxy greater. The First Order needs diplomats. People who are good with other people. We too need pilots and mechanics, like your friends are. They could help in this new galaxy I envision.”

“So you would like them on your side so they can convince alien planets to sign away their resources even faster to the First Order, on your behalf?” she asked darkly, shaking her head. “I won’t be a part of it. You only save what you want to save, if there’s something there that you like. You had power in the Outer Regions, yet no one bothered to save the slaves or scavengers on Jakku. You left us, to go to systems with more valuable resources to exploit. You only cry injustice when there is an ore or mineral in that planet that you have your eyes set on. When it’s a pile of sand and scraps, you don’t care.”

“That wasn’t my choice,” he quickly said, even though he had never objected to it before. “I have a chance to make up for the mistakes of our former Supreme Leader now.”

She wasn’t buying it yet.

“If I go to my friends, you’ll blow me up too,” she said darkly. “Along with them.”

He shook his head. “No, girl, you are wrong.” Realizing that he couldn’t call her ‘girl’, even if that was how Snoke and Kylo had always referred to her in Hux’s presence, he asked: “What’s your name?”

She didn’t give it. “Nobody,” she repeated.

He didn’t understand her, and had she been less powerful, he would have disposed of her by now, but she was an enigma he needed to solve. He had never backed away from a challenge before. She held the key to the galaxy, perhaps, and he would be an idiot to dismiss that.

As she was crying again, he saw how her chest shook, and how she seemed to be in pain. Perhaps not physically, but certainly emotionally. She wasn’t exhaling properly, almost working herself up into a hiccup, and he moved even closer, knelt down on one knee and put his hand on her shoulder.

“Breathe, girl,” he whispered. “You will be safe.”

She took a deep breath, but looked up at him in confusion at the same time. From all the people in the universe she would have expected some empathy from, she had not expected it to come from General Hux.

“I won’t hurt you like Snoke wanted to hurt you,” he promised with one hand on his chest. “But you have to help me out too. Help me end this conflict.”

She blinked a few times, her mind several systems away, but eventually she nodded.

She gave her name rather reluctantly. “Rey.”

For a moment he wondered why she said that, until he realized it was her name.

“Rey,” he repeated in a tone which he kept soft just for her. “Will you help me? And let me help you?”

His hand dropped from her shoulder to her elbow, noticing that she had a little scar on the top of her arm and he was careful not to touch it.

She thought about it, her own arm leaning against his for support as tears still rolled down her cheeks. “If you spare my friends, and if you negotiate peace with General Organa, then I am willing to help you.”

He felt a rush of triumph course through his veins, and tried not to look too happy as he got up and offered his hand to help her up. He could see how little she trusted him, but at least she was trying the waters now, and he couldn’t resist smiling as her bare hand slid into his gloved one, and he was allowed to pull her up.


	2. The Word of a Jedi

Rey had made alliances with people she didn’t trust before.

In the Jakku desert, she had worked together with other scavengers, honoring the agreements made for as long as the mission lasted. But at every turn, she had been ready for betrayal, and at every turn, she had been ready to fight back.

Most of the times, it had worked out for her, and even those times that she had been betrayed, she had been able to keep her own life. Sometimes she had been scammed out of portions, and sometimes they had stolen from her, but she had always survived.

She didn’t trust Hux, but she knew that his offer to work together was genuine. Maybe it was the Force telling her so, but she wanted to trust this instinct she had. His need for her cooperation was real, even if she couldn’t truly explain the logic behind it.

He had plenty of alternatives: he could capture her, kill her or just let her go. But instead, he wanted her to work with him.

Her eyes welled up with tears as she realized that Kylo had wanted her by his side as well, but he had also wanted her to turn a blind eye to the destruction of the Resistance. That had caused their fight. That had caused his end, and she sniffled at the memory of how she had struck him in the gut.

She hadn’t expected her hit to land. She had expected him to dodge or to strike her down first, before she could defend herself. But maybe he hadn’t been able to strike the killing blow. Maybe he had stopped at the very last moment, and she hadn’t.

And now he was gone and she wasn’t.

Her equal in the Force. Her enemy and her confidant.

She had been merciless. He hadn’t been.

And once again, she was alone.

But perhaps her friends still lived. Perhaps she could see Finn again, or BB-8, and she knew that Chewbacca was probably still nearby, waiting to pick up a signal from her. Or did he believe her to be dead now, after the semi-destruction of the Supremacy?

She followed Hux through the dark corridors of the ship – or rather, she walked by his side. He did not seem to want her to walk even an inch behind him, and though it could be seen as a form as courtesy, she knew it was because he didn’t trust her not to ram her lightsaber through his heart the first moment she could.

But did she really want to kill Hux?

Yes, he was responsible for the destruction of the Hosnian system, but had he not been following orders? He had hinted at something like that, and had now said that he wanted peace, and was that not what she wanted as well? Was she making a wrong choice in working together with him? Was she now a soldier for the Resistance, meant to take down the strongest pawns on the board, even if meant risking her own life and freedom?

She was good at survival, but she wasn’t gifted in politics.

Among the corridor with escape pods was one vessel which was a little bigger, and as he opened the airlock to it, Hux explained: “This was Snoke’s escape pod. As you can see, it’s more of a ship than a pod. They’ll pick us up in this. The majority is evacuating right now and there are some other First Order vessels in the vicinity.”

Rey merely nodded as she entered the small vessel. There was a cockpit with room for two, and in the little area behind it for about three more people. No doubt about it that this tiny vessel had been meant for Snoke and his most loyal guards.

As Hux closed the airlock behind them again, she sat herself down in the co-pilot seat, releasing the docking clamps as she recognized the buttons for it, and as Hux sat down by her side, she was aware that he was watching her.

“You seem to know your way around our technology,” he stated.

“I can fly anything,” Rey replied, more out of habit than out of heart. She didn’t feel well.

“Well, thank you for your assistance,” Hux said in something that sounded like genuine gratitude. Then he plotted a course towards a nearby Star Destroyer.

She watched his hands as he entered the necessary controls, and she had to admit one thing: he did know his way around a ship as well. Perhaps that was only logical for a First Order General, but she had sometimes imagined that the generals were the least competent of them all, especially when it came to technical fields. Maybe that was an opinion she had to revise.

“Now, when we board in a few minutes, let me do the talking, and whatever you do, don’t pull your lightsaber. People will be very wary of you.”

She could only nod as she leaned back and looked out the window. There were so many escape pods fleeing the Supremacy, yet she was certain that many soldiers had died before they could make their escape. As they drifted further away from Snoke’s former flag ship, she was also able to glance at it, torn in half now, and her mouth dropped a little at the sight. What kind of weapon was capable of slicing a ship in two like that?

“What happened?” she asked in a slightly confused tone. She noticed that Hux was going through a first-aid kit that he had pulled from the wall, not even looking at her as he replied.

“One of your resistance ships saw that we were firing on the escape pods. To stop us, they had their ship jump to lightspeed, with us directly in its path. I’m just glad it didn’t set a chain reaction in motion, or we all would have been dead now.”

Rey wasn’t certain if she was happy about that or not, and didn’t know how to reply to Hux. It was too confusing, too political. She wanted to hand over these negotiations to General Organa. She wasn’t made for dealing with a man like General Hux.

“So we’re to go to the Resistance next?” Rey asked, unable to keep the hope out of her tone.

“Yes,” he responded, taking a small bacta-patch from the kit. “So you can negotiate their surrender.”

Rey frowned. “Me?” She immediately shook her head. “I’m not a negotiator. Why don’t you speak to General Organa directly?”

He laughed now. “And risk my life by walking into a Resistance Base?”

She felt a little insulted. “They won’t shoot you straight away. Not if I’m with you. I will escort you to General Organa and back to your vessel, if that makes you feel better.”

As she looked at him, she realized that he looked a little less tense as she proposed that.

“If you give me the word of a Jedi, then I shall trust it.”

She hesitated. She wasn’t a Jedi, but at the same time…

“Sure,” she said, not wanting to raise too many suspicions about the fact that she was only a half-baked Jedi, hardly worthy of such a title. If her ability to lift rocks meant that much to him, then she wasn’t going to burst that bubble.

Hux approved and ripped open the bacta-patch before he put it against the scar on Rey’s upper arm. She hissed in pain for a brief moment, and she saw how Hux startled a little because of it.

“Apologies,” he said softly as he sat back again. “You can remove it tomorrow.”

She hadn’t even asked for help, yet he had given it. She found that strange, and looked away for a moment.

“Thank you,” she said eventually, and as she gazed at him again, she saw that his lip curled up into a smile.

“You’re welcome.”

The journey was short, and as they gazed out the window, Rey tried to sense Hux in the Force – but it was like he was hardly even there. His emotions weren’t strong enough to be picked up, and she found that strange.

The moment they stepped aboard the other Star Destroyer, she immediately felt the presence of the crew around her. Some officers and stormtroopers sat against the walls, injured and waiting for aid, others were shuffling about to a clearer spot on the vessel, looking for another way to be of use.

“General Hux!” one of the younger officers suddenly said as he recognized him from the bridge. “What are we to do, sir? We haven’t received any further orders from the Supreme Leader.”

“You will now,” Hux replied in a dignified tone, and Rey was impressed by how comforting he sounded as he addressed one of his own. She had expected him to bark, somehow, but for now he seemed to be in full control. “Supreme Leader Snoke is dead. As is Kylo Ren. And I fear for the worst when it comes to our beloved Captain Phasma. I am the Supreme Leader now, and today we will continue this war until its end is in sight by the time we go to bed. I am going to talk to the Resistance and offer them the possibility of a surrender, and we’ll bring peace to the galaxy once and for all.”

The officer nodded eagerly, not too fazed by the news Hux had relayed about Snoke’s death, and even Rey had to admit that the new Supreme Leader had something smooth to his voice, something that made his words calming when he wanted them to be.

“I shall inform the others, Supreme Leader,” the Officer said immediately, and Hux nodded with a pleased smile on his face.

Being called ‘Supreme Leader’ was new to him, Rey realized, and she noticed how his lips had curled up into a smile. He probably didn’t realize she was staring and aware of how much he was enjoying being called such.  

“General Hux!” a distorted voice shouted through the corridor, and a stormtrooper approached them carrying a ginger, furry creature in his arms, something Rey had never seen before, and she looked with wide eyes as Hux lit up at the sight and rushed closer to take the creature from the soldier’s arms.

“Millicent! She’s alright!” he exclaimed, his tone nothing but relief and affection as he held the cat close to his chest. The creature purred and stroked its head affectionately against the fabric of Hux’s coat in return.

“Let me just say, sir, that she wasn’t too eager to leave your quarters. I was very happy to be wearing armor. Did she leave any marks on my suit?”

Hux chuckled as he looked at the stormtrooper, inspecting his armor, which was a bit dirty in places, showing that he had travelled through a few places that had known smoke and fire, but which looked fine otherwise. “Your armor will hold out a little while longer. Thank you so much, TS-283. I’m glad you found her. Dismissed.”

As the stormtrooper rushed off again, Rey could only watch Hux reunite with his pet, even lifting the creature a little to place a kiss on the top of her head. It was strange to see anyone in the First Order express affection for anything.

“General Hux, sir!” Another First Order officer approached them, and Hux turned to Rey.

"Could you hold her for me?"

It wasn't much of a question, if Rey had to be honest. One moment she was looking at Millicent and the next she had the creature shoved in her arms, and Millicent didn’t seem very happy about having to separate from her master. 

Rey held the creature rather stiffly, not paying much heed to the instructions Hux was giving the officer as she saw how Millicent was testing her claws against her blouse, and she was a little scared that the creature would ruin her outfit. It was the only one proper one she had. But Millicent didn’t seem to have her mind set on destruction, and instead kneaded the clothing for a little while, giving Rey the impression that this creature wasn’t very old at all. There was something childlike about it, and by the time Hux was done talking to the Officer, Millicent had fallen asleep against Rey’s bosom.

When Hux turned to her and saw this, he seemed pleased.

“We can board one of the vessels that is headed to Crait right now. Though I’d rather not take Millicent into a war zone, I have hope that you can prevent conflict so that Millicent won’t even wake from her nap.”

As Rey walked by Hux’s side through the busy corridors, she was surprised how the cat was able to sleep through so much noise, and she asked: “How old is this…” She didn’t know what to call it. “This creature?”

“Millicent is a cat,” Hux immediately said as he realized Rey did not know. “And she is only seven months old. She was a gift from Captain Phasma, actually. Phasma was amused that the creature shared my hair color, and brought it along with her to show me. I think it’s safe to say that Millicent’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”

Rey was mildly surprised that she was even allowed to hold Hux’s pet. If this was what Hux loved most in the universe, and it wouldn’t surprise Rey if that was the case, then Hux was putting a lot of trust in her by allowing her to hold it. It was strange to consider that she had somehow earned this trust already.

“Though I’m saddened to realize that Millicent has outlived Phasma,” Hux admitted to Rey, sincerity in his tone. “I’m hoping for a miracle, but fear that all help might come too late now. I always thought that if I ever came to power within the First Order, I’d at least have Phasma as my second-in-command. Trust is not easily given, and I’m not entirely certain how to proceed with the people currently under my command. Though there are plenty I trust, there is no one with the skill set that Phasma had. She was a magnificent leader to the young stormtroopers.”

From the short amount of time she had spent with Finn, she had not had that impression of Captain Phasma. Finn hadn’t been fond of her at all. But then again, Finn had defected, and maybe his dislike for Phasma had been the key to that. Those were thoughts for another time, for she didn’t want to start an argument with the new Supreme Leader while she was at the heart of the First Order.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Rey said. She sounded polite more than empathetic, but Hux seemed to appreciate it nonetheless.

“That is kind of you to say,” he replied without even looking at her. “We have lost too many lives on both sides today. It is time to end this war.”

Rey remained quiet. Part of her agreed. Another part of her wasn’t certain she deserved a life of peace after what she had done that day.


	3. Birth of a New Order

Rey followed Hux from one vessel to another, until eventually they entered Crait’s atmosphere and she saw a dozen First Order Heavy Assault Walkers standing there, giant and looming and stock-still as they awaited further orders.

In the mountains nearby, she saw a big door, one that led to the Resistance Base. At the thought that maybe her friends were there, she felt a squeeze of hope – or despair – in her chest. She wasn’t certain if she was happy or sad, eager or anxious, and as she petted Millicent’s head, she was doing it more to ease herself than Millicent.

Hux noticed as he cast a glance at her while the ship landed, and said: “I assume it is best if we agree to meet a few of them out there, in front of their gate. I’ll have my officers broadcast the terms to them.”

Rey could only nod, and she left Millicent in the vessel as she witnessed Hux ordering other officers and stormtroopers around, before they began their short trek towards the Resistance Base. As they walked, Rey noticed how the white salt beneath them seemed to turn red as they passed by on it, and as Hux saw her confused gaze because of it, he almost smiled.

Part of her was like a child – inexperienced in many things in life, and the irony that she was one of the most powerful beings in the universe was not lost on him.

He held his back straight and his hands folded behind him as he walked towards the meeting point in his usual uniform, his chin raised in pride.

As they walked closer, Rey noticed for a while that no one was emerging from the Resistance, until a door creaked open and she saw two figures approach. She did not recognize the man with the dark hair and brown jacket, but she did recognize General Organa, and the worried crease in her brow. She seemed a dozen years older compared to the last time Rey had seen her.

Rey could feel the sadness within her. It seemed like she already knew what had happened to her son, and for a moment Rey felt like she could pass out from guilt. It had been her fault, more than anyone else’s.

“General Hugs,” the man said with a smirk when they stopped opposite one another. “We meet at last.”

Hux sneered, wondering for a moment why a Resistance soldier would address him so rudely, until he recognized the voice.

“Poe Dameron,” he acknowledged the man, before he turned to general Leia and nodded briefly. “General Organa.”

Leia returned the nod cordially. “Hadn’t expected you to use my proper title, General Hux,” she said sharply, more used to being called a pariah by the First Order. “So did Supreme Leader Snoke send you into the enemy’s lair to negotiate our surrender?”

He shook his head. “Not exactly. Supreme Leader Snoke is no more.” His tone gained more pride as he continued. “You are looking at the new Supreme Leader right now.”

Poe seemed impressed. “Supreme Leader Hugs! Now that’s a title I’m sure you’ve coveted for a long while. I was wondering why you weren’t wearing your command cap. Guess a Supreme Leader doesn’t wear one.”

Hux wasn’t particularly amused by Dameron’s way of steering the conversation away from what he had come out to talk about.

“I do wish to discuss your surrender though,” Hux continued, seemingly ignoring Poe, but from his tone it was clear that the man had gotten under his skin. “We intercepted your distress calls, and I can assure you that no allies to the Resistance remain to help you with your plight. I could wipe you all out right now and be done with you if I wanted to, but instead I wish to negotiate a surrender with less bloodshed. It has been a day with plenty of losses on both sides. We need not add to it.”

Leia seemed to grow more pissed with every word he said, and by the time he was done, she rolled her eyes.

“Coming from the man who designed Starkiller Base and who was proud to blow up the Hosnian System, you must understand that I’m not eager to believe that from your mouth. I don’t think a single loss has ever kept you up at night.”

Hux grew quiet, eerily so even, and as Rey looked at him she could not read him. She didn’t know if he was angry or just trying to come up with something to get what he wanted, and as she looked at General Leia, she saw how the older woman was looking back at her with some worry in her eyes.

Rey suddenly felt put on the spot, tears coming to her eyes as she was reminded of what had happened between her and Ben Solo, and she cast down her eyes in the hopes that it would help her regain her composure.

“I do not want my people to die,” General Leia continued. “But you must understand that I’m not eager to surrender to the First Order if all you’ll do is torture them and strip them of their freedom.”

Hux nodded briefly. “I had expected such a demand, and am even willing to comply.”

He was quiet at that, enjoying the look of surprise on General Organa’s face.

“Then what is your demand?” she asked with a frown, fearing what the Supreme Leader would ask. It would not have surprised the veteran leader if he asked to execute her publicly, to set an example to the rest of the galaxy, and so she braced herself for the question she expected most.

“I want your young Jedi to remain by my side as my bodyguard and confidant.”

General Leia was baffled, and she was completely quiet for a moment, and Rey felt her heart race at that request. She would rather avoid the First Order for the rest of her life, but if this would save her friends, if this would end the war…

“And you agree to this?” Poe asked Rey, his expression angry, as though her accepting those terms was the greatest betrayal he could imagine.

“I wasn’t aware this was even an option,” Rey replied defensively, not liking Poe’s tone. The war could be over if she accepted Hux’s terms. But she wasn’t certain if she was ready for a role as ‘bodyguard’ or ‘confidant’. And she certainly didn’t like the disdain on Poe’s face, as though she was sleeping with the enemy.

Leia narrowed her eyes at Hux. “Why would you want a Jedi by your side? I feel less inclined to agree with you due to the First Order’s former affiliation to the Dark Side. The last thing I would want is for Rey to turn dark, whether by choice, torture or manipulation on your behalf.”

Hux solemnly placed his hand on his chest. “I will give you my word that our affiliation to the Dark Side is over now. Snoke and Kylo Ren are dead, and his knights are already being taken care of.”

Rey frowned, not certain at what point he had ordered to take care of those knights. He had uttered so many commands, and she had hardly even been paying attention, too caught up in her own grief. Had she heard anything considering the Knights of Ren even? No, she was certain she would have remembered a mention of it. But she had heard him give orders to activate a silent self-destruct on a particular base – could that have been where those Knights of Ren had lived?

“Besides,” he continued with his head held high. “The Jedi were called peace-keepers before the Empire came to rise. And it wasn’t rare for them to be tasked with the protection of senators or other powerful figures in the galaxy. I am certain she will prove useful and that she can aid to bring new balance to the universe.”

_Balance._

Her heart ached and she could only stare at the salt-covered ground in front of her.

For a moment, she had believed that she and Kylo Ren could create balance. And then she had killed him, and not only did the universe feel strangely off-balance, she was as well. She had never felt so hopeless and emotional, and though she closed her eyes, she could not stop the tears that fell so freely.

Leia startled at the sight, and even Poe’s eyes widened and he kept his mouth wisely shut. When Hux saw their expressions and turned to gaze upon his Jedi, he too felt a little shocked. He had not expected her to feel as emotional about his request and he could not place it.

“I assumed it would be an honor to witness the birth of a New Order at the side of its ruler,” Hux said, his tone not as strict as it had been before, but almost as though he was trying to coax Rey to agree with him. “I assure you that my proposal is as it is. No deception.”

Rey tried to wipe her tears away, but didn’t really look up. It wasn’t Hux or Poe that she was afraid of, it was meeting Leia’s gaze that was too much. She couldn’t do it – she couldn’t act as though she hadn’t killed Leia’s son. Because even if she regretted it, his blood was on her hands, and no one else’s.

“If you keep them safe,” she began, her voice not even sounding like it was her own anymore, but as though she was a woman possessed, trying to make her way out of this stressful situation as quickly as she could. “Then I will comply.”

She didn’t believe she was the best person for the job, but if this would keep her friends alive – if she had any left in the Resistance – then she would do it.

Hux was glad to hear that she did agree after all, and rather easily too.

“I hope you will keep us more than safe, General – excuse me – Supreme Leader Hux,” Leia said cautiously. “I am quite certain that Rey doesn’t mean that she would agree to it if you kept us safely hidden away in a prison or labor camp.”

Rey didn’t realize how quickly she had agreed to Hux’s deal, and how little she had discussed the terms.

“They need to be free,” Rey quickly added, realizing she had made a mistake. “No imprisonment.”

Hux considered that for a moment. It wasn’t exactly what he had had in mind. There was a risk in letting them roam free. They could strengthen the Resistance once more and strike again.

Though he did not trust the entire Resistance to keep their word, Hux knew that Leia was more than just the leader of a terrorist group. She had been an honorable politician before, and she was respected more than anyone among her peers.

“Another proposal then,” Hux announced, still thinking as he was saying it. “I wish to discuss the exact terms with you. But until we come to an agreement on those terms, I wish to offer a cease-fire to your rag-tag band of volunteers, here on Crait. I am even willing to offer any food and medical supplies you may need until we come to an agreement. But there shall be no hostilities in the meanwhile.”

As Leia looked behind Hux and Rey and saw the small army Hux had gathered, she wasn’t so certain if they had any say in it. No one was coming to save them – and what they needed right now was a miracle. Could she trust the new Supreme Leader to be of his word?

As a general, he had never lied before. But he had wiped out an entire system because they had harbored the home of the Galactic Republic. Leia did not know who to trust, though she felt like Hux was a man of his word, and what she felt was usually correct.

“Rey, do you believe he will stay true to his word?”

Rey could hardly look up at Leia without tears coming to her eyes, and she nodded much faster than she wanted to.

“If he trusts me to protect him if I give him my word, then I trust him to protect you,” she said briefly, and at this Leia inclined her head, giving in.

“If you prepare a list of demands, I shall do the same,” Hux told her. “We can reconvene in the morning, after a good night’s rest. Personally I like to make decisions like these on a clear head.”

Leia agreed, though Poe didn’t seem as happy about all these politics. He had his arms folded over one another, and he was glaring menacingly at Hux. He didn’t trust any of it, no matter what Rey or Leia thought of Hux.

“Let us reconvene here tomorrow at 09:00.”

“Agreed,” Leia said briefly, and though she shot another look at Rey, the young Jedi could not meet that gaze.

As Hux turned around, Rey was quick to follow, and this worried Leia. She had an inkling of what had happened, but she had not expected it to make Rey so afraid to talk to her that she would rather follow the Supreme Leader of the First Order back to his ship, than to even stay and talk to Leia.

“I had expected a different sort of Jedi,” Poe said when the Supreme Leader and Rey were out of earshot, the disapproval clear from his tone. “She doesn’t seem very mature.”

“She is,” Leia defended her. “But something happened. To Ben. She can’t face me about it, yet.”

Poe gulped. “Do you think she killed him?”

Leia sighed sadly. “I know he’s no longer alive. And I know she was there. And it would explain a lot.”

“With all due respect, General, but if she killed him, then that means that he could no longer be turned. Maybe she just doesn’t want to be the bearer of such bad news.”

“Maybe,” she agreed. “But I had not expected her to prefer a rancor den over our company.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just returned home from Star Wars Celebration today, and boy oh boy do I miss it! I had the time of my life and want to go to Anaheim as well now.   
> Some of you might have received some Reyux artwork from me at Celebration, and if that's the case and you're reading this now: Whoohoo! :-D Feel free to drop a comment because I would like to know if handing out the artworks is an efficient way of gaining readers or not at all! 
> 
> Those of you who have no idea what artwork I'm talking about, you might wanna check the reyux tag on my own tumblr (CartoonJessie).   
> Thanks again for the warm reception of the previous chapters as well!


	4. Bound by Words, Not Shackles

The vessel to which they returned for the night was still occupied over maximum capacity, and as Hux demanded chambers for Rey besides his, his officers were quick to explain that they didn’t have enough beds as it was, and hinted that there were separate living quarters available. The officer in question, a blonde, older man, had almost voiced that Hux was asking for a lot already, demanding private chambers for himself in a vessel that had four times its regular crew, but one glare and a reminder that he was dealing with the Supreme Leader had shut the man up about that subject.

As Hux headed to his newly designated quarters, with Millicent in his arms, he told Rey: “You can sleep in the living room, if you wish.” As no response came, he turned to her, to see that she seemed another galaxy away. “Have you heard what I said?”

“Huh?” She looked up in confusion, before she shook her head, then nodded. “Yes. Yes, that’s fine.”

She seemed too exhausted to oppose to anything. Hopefully sleep would reveal the real Rey to him in the morning. For a Jedi, she was meeker than he had expected.

As the door to his chambers slid open, he saw that it was all on the small side – especially compared to the quarters he’d had at his disposal on the Supremacy or Starkiller Base – but it would do just fine. Though it wasn’t a room worthy of his title, he himself could do just fine in a small room.

The moment the door slid closed behind them, he put Millicent down, and she rushed onto the large couch, nestling herself in the corner of it, purring while she did so.

Besides the sofa, there was a desk with a big chair behind it. In front of the sofa stood a small, black table. The bathroom could be found through the bedroom, which was rather dull as it only really had a bed in it. The wardrobe was hidden in the panels of the wall. There were small windows that overlooked Crait and the stars behind it, and while he curiously looked around the bedroom, Rey had followed him.

Glancing her over, he realized she had nothing on her. “Let me see if we have something for you to sleep in.”

Going into the wardrobe, he found standard First Order nightwear – black pajamas made of a comfortable and warm cotton. There were a few sizes available, and he took what he figured was her size from the cupboard, as well as a towel before he handed it to her.

Providing her with these things should have been the work of a service droid, not of the Supreme Leader, but she looked absolutely helpless as she stood there before him, her mind exhausted and her gaze bleak.

“Go take a shower,” he told her, indicating the bathroom, and she obeyed his wish without uttering a single word, disappearing into the bathroom.

He went into the living room himself, patting Millicent’s head absentmindedly, and figured that she could sleep on the sofa. It wasn’t a very big one, but if she curled up a bit she would be comfortable still. Returning to the panels with storage in his bedroom, he found some sheets and blankets – the sheet a pale white while the blanket was a course, gray material - incredibly warm, but not comfortable to the skin. He laid it out on the sofa, shooing Millicent away while he did so, before he went to gather some data-pads and looked at the First Order news bulletins that had been spread. He was officially declared Supreme Leader now, with the promise of an official ceremony to follow within a month.

Though the disaster aboard the Supremacy was mentioned, it was done vaguely enough for people to know of the casualties, and to know that a terrorist attack of the Resistance had caused it, but there were no details about Snoke’s death, or Kylo’s.

Hux would need to spin convincing tales regarding their deaths – tales that would encourage the flame of loyalty within the hearts of all soldiers and officers. For now, he had been able to omit the details of their deaths, and he had sent a special task force to deal with the bodies on the Supremacy, but it wouldn’t be enough.

And even more than that, he needed to find a valid explanation for Rey to remain by his side as his bodyguard, even if she had been involved in the death of Snoke and Kylo Ren. There would be questions about her loyalty.

As he sat on the corner of the sofa, Millicent by his side as he brainstormed possibilities while he stared at the data-pad before him, he hardly noticed when Rey entered the room. When she coughed, he turned his head though, seeing how her hair was loose as she was wearing a black shirt and black sweatpants, ready for bed.

Hux got up from the sofa so she could make herself comfortable, and instead sat down on the table in front of the sofa, his mind still preoccupied with her alibi.

She hadn’t even sat down yet before he began: “It’s a strange situation we find ourselves in at this moment. One thing that concerns me is how my own people will perceive you. I’m certain that my highest-ranking officers can see the logic in having you by my side to protect me. But many will fear that your loyalties don’t lie with the First Order.”

“They don’t,” Rey said softly, breaking his train of thought. “I’m not First Order and I don’t condone any of the things you’ve done.”

She said it calmly, in a way that didn’t even aggravate Hux, and he nodded briefly.

“Then we shall have to convince you of our merit too,” he said. “I believe that together, we can bring true peace to this universe. But we can’t remain together if my men want to see you imprisoned or worse.”

She held her mouth as she realized he was not waiting for her ideas. He had a gleam in his eyes that told her he had already thought this through.

“How we sell the death of Snoke and Kylo Ren will make people like or dislike you. Snoke was found, slashed in half, and you said it was Kylo’s doing. And you killed Kylo.” He saw how she closed her eyes while he said that, and still uncertain why it bothered her so much, he said: “I think you did the right thing. They were evil men.”

Rey breathed in sharply through her nose before she opened her eyes again. “And you’re not?” she demanded.

“Please give me a chance to prove my worth,” he asked of her. “I can understand your resentment, but please wait until you know me better before you judge me.”

It was a fair thing of him to demand in the name of peace, and she bowed her head, allowing him to continue.

“What if we spin it in such a way that the reason you came to the Supremacy was to negotiate peace. Snoke wanted to hear you out, Kylo Ren did not, and so Kylo killed Snoke. Unable to give into peace, he fought you, but you emerged victorious and found a new ally, in me!”

Rey was quiet. She didn’t like these lies. But were they really lies? Had she not come to find balance, with Kylo Ren by her side? What the Force had shown her, had not been her future. But she had been convinced that facing Kylo Ren would be the right thing to do in order to secure that future. Had she cursed the universe by killing Kylo, or had she always been meant to partner up with Hux so she could help deliver peace?

She wanted to trust her feeling in this, but as she tried to sense Hux’s intent, she realized something that confused her.

He, like Luke, had closed himself off from the Force.

That a Jedi like Luke could do such a thing, did not surprise her. But Hux was just human, nothing out of the ordinary about him, except for the fact he could shut out the Force, and she did not know what to think about that.

“Are you aware that you close yourself off from the Force?” she asked, looking at him, and he seemed to beam with pride.

“Yes,” he admitted. “I learned to at a young age. Which is a good thing, because Snoke never suspected a thing.”

“Never suspected what?” Rey asked, exhausted but intrigued.

“That I did not always agree with him. It kept me alive long enough to find myself in my current position of power. I do not wish to lose it before I have proven my worth to the First Order and this galaxy.”

Rey had never really met or spoken to someone who thought as political as Hux did. Part of her wanted to believe him, for his words were like honey, but she would always be wary of those she could not sense.

“Can you open yourself to the Force?” she asked, and as she saw his questioning gaze, she explained: “So I can feel if you’re sincere about everything you’ve just told me?”

His confident gaze wavered for a moment.

“I’m not sure if I can,” he admitted. “I haven’t really learned to turn it off. I can’t. This is part of who I am now.”

Rey wasn’t certain how to deal with that. Not while she was as exhausted as she was.

“Let me sleep on that,” she said as she stifled a yawn. “I don’t want to let this go just yet, but I need to think about it.”

He nodded and saw that as his cue that he needed to take his leave as well. As he got up from the low table, he picked up Millicent from her corner of the sofa and inclined his head respectfully.

“Sleep well,” he told her briefly, before he turned and left the room.

Rey was left on the sofa, and now that she was finally alone, she removed the lightsaber from her belt, laying it instead on the table. Next, she laid down slowly, arranging the blankets and pillows around her until she was comfortable.

She wondered where Chewbacca was, and what he was doing. He had promised to hide from the First Order and to wait for her signal. Would he give up on her if she didn’t stay in contact with him? It was too risky to contact him though, and so she decided to wait a while longer.

Though her body was ready for sleep, her mind was not. There was so much to think about, so many emotions were fighting for her attention… It became numbing in its own way.

In the room next to her, she could hear Hux talk. She wasn’t certain if he was talking to himself or Millicent, or whether he was recording a journal or sending instructions to his crew. He was hard-working, so she assumed it was the latter. He had the entire First Order to run. And among all those trained soldiers and officers, he had asked _her_ to remain by his side, to protect him.

She could kill him and rid the universe of another important figure in the First Order. With Snoke, Kylo and Phasma gone, he was one of the last big names she knew. But what would his death solve? And could she kill a man that had done her no personal harm?

Unlike Kylo, he hadn’t raised a weapon at her. He hadn’t imprisoned her. He hadn’t locked chains around her wrists or hurt her in any way. She’d been free, hadn’t she?

Or was she bound by words, not shackles this time?  

She hadn’t really had an option. Her life or that of those brave souls fighting in the Resistance. It had been an easy choice. But had it been a choice in the first place?

Was she being manipulated in a position that Hux wanted her in, or was she truly an equal and a confidant now? Those questions tired her, and eventually she fell asleep, without ever receiving a clear answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May the 4th be with you! (Though it's officially Revenge of the 5th here!)  
> I hope you've all been well, and that you enjoy this latest chapter. Comments are always welcome, and let me know if you got my little promo card for "Breathe" at Star Wars Celebration! That way I know if it's a good idea to make more when I go to Celebration, or if they don't really serve much of a purpose. Take care!


	5. Not Really a Jedi

Rey’s dreams were troublesome. Images of Kylo, Luke and Snoke whirled in her mind, each of them whispering advice that she thought was horrible.

Snoke was seated on the throne where he’d been killed and told her to rid herself of Hux, reminding her that she was too powerful to be a pet to his worthless former officer. Kylo stood without his mask and scar in the Takodana forest, promising her that she would always be welcome to join him, even in death. Luke stood in front of the ancient tree on Ahch-to as he urged her that she had to complete her training, and that none of this would have happened if she hadn’t left too soon.

None of their words calmed her, and as she twisted and turned in the sheets, she was hardly aware how she suddenly fell off the sofa – until she impacted the floor with a gasp for air as her eyes flew open.

It only took her a moment to find her bearing again, and as she realized she was still in the First Order quarters where Hux had left her, she realized that she could hear him in the other room, just like when she had fallen asleep.

He was talking – but not just to himself – it seemed like he had a communications channel open, for she heard another male voice reply to him.

Though she wasn’t certain how late it was, she knew she wouldn’t fall asleep again now, and she tried to listen to what Hux was talking about, but she couldn’t make out the words. Stretching and rubbing through her face, she sat on the couch, feeling hungry and wondering if she could enter Hux’s room to head into the bathroom already.

She only had to wait a few minutes before it seemed like the conversation Hux had had was over, and as she knocked on the door, she heard him say: “Enter.”

Upon entering the bedroom, she found him fully dressed, standing by the window with a data pad in hand.

“Good, you’re up,” he said briefly as he looked her over.

“Did you even sleep?” Rey wondered as she noticed the bed, still made up as perfectly as it had been the night before. The only difference was that Millicent lay on the corner, gazing lazily at Rey for only a moment before she lowered her head again and continued sleeping.

“Yes. Four hours. Not much, but this part of the galaxy is now in shambles and there’s plenty of work to be done.” He scrolled through the data pad for a brief moment before he looked at her. “You didn’t sleep very long either, I’ve only been up for an hour.”

How long had she slept then? Five or six hours? Not much, considering how much sleep she’d been lacking the past week.

She disappeared into the small bathroom to get dressed for the day, and when she emerged fifteen minutes later, Hux was still where she had left him, standing by the window as he read his data pad. She cleared her throat to grab his attention, and as he saw her standing there, he nodded.

“Good. I see you are ready to start your day. We can have some breakfast.”

He wasn’t particularly warm in the way he addressed her, but he didn’t seem hostile either. As he led the way, she followed him back to the room where she had slept. He went into one of the cupboards that seemed more like a panel wall than a storage space, and took out a few protein bars, handing her one.

She wasn’t going to complain about eating rations when it was what she had done most of her life. And at least people in the First Order got more rations than she had ever had. Maybe she wouldn’t eat mouth-watering dishes, but at least she’d eat plenty.

As she undid the wrapper around her breakfast, she noticed how Hux walked over to the place where she had slept and how he started cleaning up her sheets and blanket. He folded it neatly before he tucked it away again, making his living room as presentable as could be before he took a bar, then sat himself down and began to eat.

While the day before they had still been unwilling to turn their backs to one another, he seemed to be more at ease this time, and certain she wouldn’t kill him. After all, that night she had had plenty of opportunities to do so, and she hadn’t.

At the sound of the wrapper, Millicent came dashing into the room, and when Hux noticed her, his lips almost curled up into a smile as he dropped the wrapper, and bore witness to Millicent jumping it and moving it underneath her paws while biting at it.

Rey witnessed the scene curiously. It was comical, the way the cat was playing with the wrapper, and she could understand why one would like a pet like Millicent. It was entertaining.

“So what’s the plan for today?” Rey interrupted them as they watched Millicent, and he raised an eyebrow.

“We shall head back to Crait, to discuss terms of surrender and a peace pact with the Resistance.”

She hesitated. He had said ‘we’.

“Do you expect me to speak up during these negotiations?” she asked, unable to keep the fear from her voice.

“You are a Jedi,” Hux replied simply, as though that answered the question.

She hesitated though. She wasn’t a Jedi. Not really. But was it wise to tell him that when it could risk the survival of the Resistance?

But if he ever found out she lied… If she could not do her job, he would figure it out as well.

She slowly munched on her protein bar before she lowered the bar and looked at him.

“I’m… I’m not really a Jedi,” she admitted.

As he raised an eyebrow, she continued.

“I told you I was nobody – just a scavenger from Jakku – until a week ago. I discovered I was strong with the Force, and it has guided me in some ways, but whatever vision you have of a Jedi, that’s not me. I didn’t go through their training and I only had a few lessons. I’m not a Sith either, but… I want you to know this before you put too much responsibility on me. You want me to keep you safe - but I’m only acting on instinct, not experience.”

She could not really read his expression, but he seemed thoughtful.

“Thank you for your honesty,” he said after a few moments of thought. “I had imagined you to have had more training, especially considering the fact you defeated Kylo Ren. Though I did not always see eye to eye with him, he was a formidable fighter. Anyone who could fight him and live to tell the tale, has to be a magnificent fighter as well, in my book at least.”

Rey’s hands and lip had begun to tremble again.

“I think he was going easy on me,” she said softly, but it was an understatement.

Hux could see how this entire subject was moving her into a state of vulnerability that he could not permit for now. They had a job to do. She needed to focus, not wallow in self-doubt.

“Then I shall have to work on making sure you receive proper training. Maybe not Jedi-training, but training in fighting techniques and everything you require to know in order to protect me. I do not expect perfection right away, and I thank you again for telling me. I shall take precautions so we can ensure our safety.”

He took it well, Rey thought to herself. She was glad for it. She wasn’t certain if she was looking forward to any lessons from the First Order, but she would endure it if it would ensure peace.

Part of her wondered if he truly wasn’t upset that she was not the Jedi he had expected, but as she tried to sense it, she realized again how he had closed himself off from the Force.

While he ate the last of his protein bar, she proposed: “Do you want my help now in opening yourself up to the Force again? I think I know a few things to try that could help with that.”

His back stiffened at the proposal. “To be honest, we don’t have enough time for that right now,” he said. “Maybe in a few days, when work is calmer. Come now, I am expected on the bridge before we leave for Crait.”

 

 

Rey was Hux’s shadow, her hand often on her lightsaber as it hung from her belt while she stood behind him and tried to sense the other’s intentions in the Force. On the bridge, she could sense many feelings of the officers and Stormtroopers present: grief, numbness, resentment, confusion but in many cases also trust and certainty and even, in some strange way, hope.

Opening herself up to all those emotions was exhausting, and by the time they headed to Crait a little over an hour later, Hux steering the vessel, she closed her eyes for a moment, something which did not go unnoticed to Hux.

“Are you still tired?” he wondered, setting the vessel on auto-pilot.

“Sorry,” she apologized immediately, opening her eyes again. “I was trying to use the Force earlier on – to sense intentions and such. It wore me out a bit.”

“I’d rather you’d wait with sensing intentions until we’re with the Resistance. I assure you that if you’re to find people who would not mind an attempt on my life, it’s with your friends.”

Rey frowned, not entirely agreeing, but she bit her lip.

“Though I’m not expecting them to take action just yet,” he admitted. “They know that this opportunity we are presenting them is their best shot at survival. It would be unwise of them to harm me. They would not get granted a second opportunity at survival, and I think they know this too.”

As he heard no response come from Rey, he looked at her, to see how she had her hands folded in her lap, her shoulders a bit stiffer than usual. It was clear that she had her own thoughts about it, but she wasn’t sharing them.

“Rey…”

She looked at him as he spoke her name, and she could see the strict expression in his eyes.

“I assure you that when we are alone, you are free to say whatever is on your mind. In fact, I encourage it.”

She gulped, shaking her head briefly before she admitted: “I don’t know… You are the Supreme Leader. I am nobody. You have worked your entire life to be where you are now, and up until a week ago I had never even left Jakku. I don’t think very politically, so I don’t know if you should place any value onto anything I say. I’m willing to help, but I don’t know anything about leading the galaxy. All I know is that I don’t agree with actions the First Order has taken in the past – like blowing up the Hosnian System. That was its worst offense, but not its only one.”

Seeing how she had more on her mind, Hux nodded patiently. “Go on.”

Feeling a little bolder, and curious if Hux could talk his way out of it, she added: “I also don’t agree with the way that you’ve taken so many children from their homes, just to train them in your army.”

Hux nodded briefly, and explained: “Those who are trained from birth are often best at what they do,” he explained. “The first stormtroopers were actually clones – but their lifespan was too short and in the end training stormtroopers seemed more efficient. Our stormtroopers have been trained from a very young age because it was proven to be a very efficient way to create perfect soldiers. Do you want to know where we got the inspiration for that?”

As he saw Rey nod, he could not resist a small smirk.

“From the Jedi.”

He almost had to laugh at the way she frowned immediately, continuing: “They travelled all over the galaxy to find force-sensitive children. And once they were taken from their homes, the ties with their family were severed. Cruel, perhaps, but efficient.”

Rey was silent as she thought about it, and Hux added: “Many aspects of our stormtrooper training are inspired by the way the Jedi were trained in their day. It is a part of history that always fascinated my father, and it’s a fascination he passed on to me. I think great lessons can be learned from our past.”

He noticed her absolute silence in response to his words, and afraid he had pushed her back into her shell, he said in a gentler tone: “Maybe my stormtroopers are just grown-up children fighting a war. But when they’re done, they will have created a universe of peace.”

Even Rey didn’t believe him when he said that, whether she could sense his sincerity or not.

“You honestly believe the fighting will ever be truly over?”

“I like to,” he said briefly. “I’m not saying it will be an easy thing to accomplish, but hopefully with the help of General Organa, we can find a way to mend this conflict and restore some unity in this part of the galaxy.”

They were flying over Crait now, towards the resistance base, though it was still out of sight.

Rey was quiet, but mostly because she was overwhelmed. Part of her wanted to believe that peace was possible, but another part of her remained wary. And then there was the fact that she was not looking forward to seeing Leia again.

The woman had never been anything but kind to her, but Rey _had_ killed her son. And though she had not told Leia about it directly, she knew that at some point, questions would be asked.

“Do I need to be with you while you negotiate?” She tried to sound casual as she asked it. “I don’t think you have anything to fear from General Leia. Maybe I should wait outside until you two are done.”

It wasn’t hard for Hux to spot that something else was going on.

“Are you afraid you have disappointed General Leia by agreeing to be my bodyguard?” he asked, figuring that that was it.

Rey’s heart ached. If only it was that simple. She had to tell Hux that she could not face Leia again.

“I killed her son,” she admitted rather bluntly, and she saw how Hux raised a confused eyebrow.

“Ben Solo?” he asked, frowning now. “Where on earth did you run into him?”

As Rey realized that Hux had never even realized that Kylo Ren and Ben Solo had been the same person, her mouth dropped a little and she looked at him incredulously.

Her response told him more than words could have, and as he remembered how she had admitted to killing Kylo Ren with tears in her eyes, it suddenly clicked.

“Are you telling me Kylo Ren was General Organa’s son _all along_?” He was completely baffled, his eyes wide as he tried not to burst out laughing. The irony of it all wasn’t lost on him, but it would be cruel to laugh in the face of his newest ally. His expression and tone didn’t betray his glee as he looked at her. “You’re serious? Snoke never told me.”

It shook Rey to learn that no one had even known the true Kylo Ren – except for Snoke, then. Her heart ached for the man she had struck down. He’d been so lost, and she hadn’t been able to save him. With tears in her eyes, she nodded, but she didn’t dare look at Hux anymore.

He didn’t like her tears, but he realized that he could hardly forbid her to cry after the things she’d gone through. It was clear that she looked up to Leia in some way, as anyone in the Resistance would. And if Leia didn’t know that Rey had killed Kylo Ren – or Ben Solo – then Hux could also understand why his young Jedi wanted to hide.

As he landed their vessel behind the massive Heavy Assault Walkers, he could hear Rey sniffling by his side. He let out a soft sigh, inaudible but necessary as he tried to figure out how to deal with this news, and decided: “I will speak to General Organa on my own. You will stand guard outside. But only if that is what you want. If you wish to be included in the peace treaty talks, then you are welcome to.”

It was the most generous offer he knew how to make, and when he looked at Rey, he could see genuine gratitude as she nodded and wiped away the last of her tears.

“Thank you,” she said a little awkwardly, and Hux stiffened up a bit at those words, awkwardly waving those thanks away.

“No matter. Now let’s head to the resistance base. This is going to be a long day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always appreciated! Don't be a stranger, let me know how you feel about the story!


	6. An Unconventional Peacemaker

Hux and Rey were invited in by Poe and Leia themselves, and when Hux asked Leia if they could negotiate in private, Leia agreed to that. While they sat in an old control room, Rey and Poe stood in front of the door, Poe looking rather suspiciously at Rey, but keeping his mouth shut.

Rey could sense the distrust that the Resistance pilot felt for her, and her heart ached because of it. She wasn’t the enemy, but it was clear that Poe could not be convinced of that at this point.

“Rey?”

Her head shot up at the sound of that familiar voice, and as she saw Finn rush towards her, her heart jumped and she was just in time to open her arms. The next thing she knew, she was being spun around as he squeezed her to him, and they both had tears in their eyes when the spinning stopped and they looked at one another.

“Rey, I’m so glad to see you’re alive!” he said as he looked at her new outfit approvingly, his hands on her shoulders as though it would make it easier for him to believe she was real.

“The feeling is mutual,” she said with a sad smile. “I missed you so much! I was afraid that you were among the Resistance casualties.”

Finn nodded sadly as well, knowing how painful the losses to the Resistance had been. When he heard someone clear her throat behind him, he suddenly let go of Rey and turned towards his newest friend.

“Rey, meet Rose. Rose, this is Rey.”

Rey looked at the other young woman, who had bright, almond-shaped eyes and was a head smaller than she was. She was smiling cautiously, and even extended her hand to Rey, and she took a step forward to shake it in return.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Rose said slowly, her gaze slightly in awe. “I’ve never met a Jedi before.”

Rey frowned slightly. “I’m not a Jedi – not really…”

Poe huffed. “Does Hux know that? He seems to be quite fond of his _Jedi-protector_.”

The disdain in his tone was obvious and Rey’s gaze was strict as she turned to him. “He knows,” she assured him. “I told him.”

It didn’t seem like Poe really believed that, for he still had his arms crossed as he looked at Rey, and Finn could sense the tension between the two.

“Hey, guys, go easy on each other. We’re all on the same side here,” he reminded them.

“Are we?” Poe asked, not taking his eyes off Rey’s.

“Yes!” she insisted stubbornly, still frowning. “I just want peace.”

“We all do,” Rose agreed, taking Finn and Rey’s side in this. “But Hux isn’t exactly the nicest person in the galaxy. Just yesterday he was eager to have us executed. It’s strange that he’s turned around so drastically in so little time.”

Rey could understand that argument, and she calmly explained: “I think with Snoke in charge, there was no leeway for kindness or compassion in the First Order. I think everyone suffered under him. I’m not certain if Hux, free to do as he pleases as a Supreme Leader, would make the same choices as he would have as a general under Snoke.”

“I hope you’re right,” Finn said. “Because if he betrays you and us now, we’re all gone. No one came to our aid. He has the power to wipe us out right now, yet he’s sitting here, talking with General Organa.”

Rose agreed. “It is more than we could have hoped for, and I’m certain if it were Snoke’s choice, we’d be dead already.”

Poe was still quiet, frowning as he looked at them.

“Why are you looking like that?” Finn asked. “Don’t you think it’s a good sign Hux is here now?”

“It might still be a trap,” Poe insisted. “Maybe he’s buttering us up right now, waiting for more secrets of the Resistance, like where our last allies are – like Snap – he’s still out there somewhere – or Maz – and once he knows, he can still turn one hundred and eighty degrees and decide to dispose of us all. So even if I allow myself to believe that we’re all being honest with one another, that honesty won’t save us if Hux decides to turn on us.”

They were all very quiet at those words, and Rey had to admit that she hadn’t thought of it that way. She needed to sense Hux’s intentions, sooner rather than later, and her heart ached at the feeling that maybe it was a trap, and maybe she wasn’t sensing the Force as well as she should. Maybe Luke could have helped, but he had no intention to join this fight, nor could he instill any of his wisdom on her over the great distance between them.

She only had herself to depend on for now, and her friends to listen to for advice.

“I will keep an eye on Hux,” Rey said solemnly as she looked at Poe. “I know that I might not be Luke Skywalker or any hero of the old stories, and I’m frightened that I’ll mess up. But at this point all I know is that Hux was willing to negotiate for peace if I was willing to work alongside him. I could have killed him, but I’m not certain anyone else in the First Order would have made the same call, so I’m willing to see where this leads us instead. I know he might seem like an unconventional peacemaker, but I believe he is a peacemaker none the less.”

Those words seemed to calm Poe a little bit, and he nodded briefly.

“Just… be careful,” Poe said, still looking a bit upset. “We’ve lost so many already.”

Rey nodded sadly. “So has the First Order. I think Hux lost some friends as well.”

As she saw the disbelieving way in which Poe raised his eyebrow, she added: “Phasma – she was rather high up in the ranks and he spoke highly of her. She hadn’t reported back after the accident on the Supremacy.”

She noticed how Rose and Finn were suddenly looking at one another, Rose wide-eyed as she tried to encourage Finn to say something, and as the former Stormtrooper realized Rey was confused by this behavior, he kept his voice down as he said: “I might know more. We fought, and I saw her fall into the flames. I don’t think she could have survived the fall or the fire.”

Rey nodded briefly, glad to hear this story.

“I’m certain they’ll find her corpse soon enough, if they haven’t already,” she assumed quietly.

“You think they care about giving their fallen soldiers a proper burial or even counting the numbers?” Finn asked. “They might strip the carcass of the Supremacy of its most valuable resources, but the last thing they care about are the ones that were lost.”

Rey wasn’t certain if she agreed. “They do care about their lost ones. They mourn and feel sad, just as much as you do here. I can sense it when I’m among them.”

“We haven’t stopped to remember our dead either,” Poe said, siding with Rey for once. “When in the heat of battle, mourning is not your first priority.”

“At least we will remember them at some point,” Rose argued stubbornly, mildly offended by Poe’s statement. “And I have thought of my sister every hour since you sent her to her death.”

Poe’s eyes widened, and Finn immediately put his hand in front of Rose, turning to her to calm her down.

“Hey, don’t say that,” he said softly. “Your sister knew why she was fighting, let’s not forget that ourselves now, alright?”

Rose seemed offended still, but also upset, and she nodded briefly, allowing Finn to escort her away again. He shot an apologetic look at Rey and Poe, and Rey smiled sadly as she watched her friend leave again, with Rose by his side.

Alone with Poe, he admitted: “She wasn’t completely wrong.” The remorse was clear from his tone. “I sent a lot of good fighters into their death to take down a dreadnought. I thought it would be worth it. But now look at us. There’s a few handfuls of us left, and still tens of thousands fighting for the First Order. These numbers are impossible.”

Rey could only agree, and she nodded as she remained quietly by his side.

Behind the door in front of which they stood, they could hear that Hux and Leia were arguing, though they couldn’t make out what about. For now, they could only wait and hope that when these negotiations were through, there was still a future for the kind souls in the Resistance.

 

 

Negotiations went on for hours. Sometimes Rey could hear raised voices, at other times all seemed quiet. When the door suddenly opened and Hux emerged, he glanced at Rey and Poe as they had stood outside, and he nodded to Rey.

“We’re done for the day. Let’s go.”

He walked away in big strides, and Rey had to skip every few steps in order to keep up with him, looking back to where Poe stood to realize that Leia hadn’t even emerged from the room.

She was curious what had been agreed upon then, and as they headed outside, through the salt plane towards their vessel, she asked: “How did it go?”

“Well,” he replied briefly. “There are a few details we have not agreed upon yet. Tomorrow General Organa will come to my vessel in order to discuss those last details, and if that goes as planned we’ll have a peace treaty by nightfall.”

“Did you ever negotiate a peace treaty like this before?” Rey wondered, and she noticed his chuckle.

“We’ve been in the business of war, not peace,” he admitted. “But General Organa and I have common ground. We do not want further losses. I’m certain we’ll make this work.”

It sounded good, the way he said it, but Rey was still suspicious, especially after what Poe had told her.

“There’s something I wanted to ask you,” she said bravely, and as he glanced her way for a moment, waiting for her to continue, she cleared her throat. “You said that you would look into opening yourself up to the Force again – if only for me to check your sincerity. I want you to do that today – before nightfall.”

“My word isn’t good enough?” He huffed in disappointment.

“You’re too much of a politician for me to ever take your word for anything,” Rey muttered, and she was surprised by his chuckle. He seemed genuinely amused by that statement.

“Fair enough,” he said. “I’ll try. I need to discuss a few things with my officers though. Maybe you can return to our quarters to look after Millicent?”

Now it was Rey who frowned. “But I thought I was supposed to look after you?”

“I trust my own officers, Rey. At least the ones that are journeying with us for now. I won’t say that I trust everyone within the First Order, for I realize that there are plenty of people that would literally kill for a promotion.” He turned to look at her expression. “I won’t deny that I have never gotten rid of the competition in order to get where I am right now.”

She did seem a little shocked at that, her head jerking towards him for a small moment as she looked at him with wide eyes.

In one way, it didn’t really surprise her, but in another she found it odd that he would admit it so quickly already.

“If you’re wondering why I’m telling you this, then all you need to know is that when I open myself up to the Force, I don’t really know what you’ll find. But if you see my darkest deeds, then at least you’ll understand why I did those things.”

She nodded briefly, not sure whether to feel grateful or not for his honesty. She wasn’t looking forward to reading his mind – or whatever it was that she could try – but she had to know if he could be trusted with the safety of the Resistance. If not, then she still had the day after to tell General Organa not to agree to the Peace Treaty – if that would even make a difference.


	7. Weak of Mind

By the time she got back to their quarters, Millicent greeted her by rubbing against her legs as she tried to walk towards the panel behind which she could find the rations. She was starving, and as she took a few bars of food, she tossed the wrapper to the floor, noticing that Millicent was once more eager to play with it.

Something had changed since the last time she’d been there. There was a small tray of food for Millicent as well as a bowl of water and a litter box on the other side of the room. It appeared service droids had stopped by.

Rey was exhausted from the long day, and satisfied with the bit of food she could munch on, she lay down on the sofa, ready for a nap. Millicent joined her, laying against her legs, and as Rey tried to sense her small companion in the Force, she realized just how peaceful the presence of Hux’s cat felt. It was wonderful to focus her own thoughts and feelings on that, and before long, they were both fast asleep.

She woke rather abruptly a few hours after that when the door opened, and as she jerked up, leaning on her elbows, she opened her eyes to see Hux look at her with a rather amused gaze. His eyes were on Millicent though as she had made herself comfortable by Rey’s side, and he asked: “Did you eat?”

As Rey waved towards the wrappers on the small table, Hux pursed his lips together, taking the wrappers and tossing them in the bin.

“We do eat more than rations in the First Order,” he informed her. “But the resources are spread rather thin at this moment in this region, so maybe we won’t change our diet until tomorrow.”

As she sat up straight on the sofa, Hux sat down on the other edge of it, next to Millicent, patting her head softly.

“You want to do this now?” he asked, his voice betraying that he wasn’t looking forward to it.

“Yes,” she replied, her voice a little deep with sleep still, and she cleared her throat and rubbed her hands through her face before she got up and sat down on the small table, right in front of him.

There was something unsettling about looking into his eyes. She feared the truth he kept hidden from her and wasn’t certain what she’d find. She had entered Kylo’s mind once, so she knew on instinct what to do, and as she tried to look into his eyes, she found that she could not enter his mind in the same way. He was too alert, his mind too closed off, and if he’d been able to wield the force, she was certain he would have entered her mind with his penetrating gaze.

“You seem insecure,” he said softly.

The statement only annoyed her more. She was supposed to be reading his feelings and thoughts, not the other way around.

“How are you even blocking me?” she wanted to know, and he shrugged.

“I’m not entirely certain myself. I just don’t open myself up.”

“How?” she demanded to know, finding that too little to go on. “What is it that you were taught?”

Hux looked away from her gaze as he recalled it. “I was very young, but it came down to being alert and focused, and to pulling up a wall of sorts – a mental wall, not trusting anyone or allowing anyone in your thoughts. And – in case a breach could be expected – to clear my mind of all thoughts and emotions I could not share.”

“A breach?” Rey asked, a little confused. “From Snoke, you mean?”

As she saw him nod slowly, she understood him a little better. It was no wonder that he had wanted to protect himself from that. She could remember the way Snoke had confessed to bridging her mind to Kylo’s. The both of them hadn’t even suspected Snoke’s meddling, but it had occurred nonetheless. Perhaps Hux had understood Snoke’s power better than she had.

“Hux, I need to know if you’re sincere about one thing, but I also know that I won’t trust your word on this. I can’t. I need to know if you truly intend to spare the lives of my friends.”

He frowned, understanding her plight, but also fearing that there was no way for him to show her that.

“If you read my mind, I can’t show you my future or my intent, Rey,” he replied. “You can only read my past.”

She shook her head. “I don’t need to read your past. I need to sense your intentions, but by closing your mind, I can’t do that either.”

He leaned back and crossed his arms over one another, a frown on his face.

“I don’t think I can. I never have learned how to open myself up again – only how to close myself off.”

Rey didn’t want to get discouraged too quickly, and as she looked at Millicent, an idea came to her. Leaning forward, she picked up Millicent and put her on Hux’s lap.

“You trust Millicent, don’t you?” Rey asked, hoping he would follow her train of thought. “You care about her and you know that you have nothing to fear from her. Try focusing on her as you tell me what your intentions are with the Resistance. Don’t tell me, tell Millicent, as though it’s Millicent that needs to believe you and sense how sincere you are.”

Hux was frowning, finding it a little ridiculous.

“You want me to talk to my cat? In front of you?” he checked, and as he saw her nod eagerly, he sneered. “And you promise not to tell anyone?” As she nodded again, he relaxed a little, though not much.

He pet Millicent on the top of her head, looking at her for a long while as he tried to lower his mental shield. But it was difficult, so difficult even that his cheeks turned a little red and tears nearly came to his eyes.

As Rey looked at him, she felt sorry for him in a way. He was trying, incredibly hard, and she felt empathy for him. He’d never been able to really be himself, she figured, and now he was fighting the barriers in his own mind, having completely forgotten how to be without fear of those using the Force.

“I promise to keep my word,” he told Millicent more than Rey. “I will honor the peace treaty, if the Resistance honors it as well.”

Rey had tried sensing him, and though she sensed an aura, it seemed to be blank, not negative or positive.

As he looked up at her hopefully, she shook her head, indicating that she hadn’t sensed anything, and he let out a deep breath as he tried to focus again, holding his breath as he stared at Millicent.

Rey shook her head as she remembered her own training with Luke, and she took his gloved hand in hers.

“Let’s try it this way…”

As she took off his glove, and then his other, he was staring at her, but she wasn’t staring back, just looking at his hands. His fingers were long and elegant, and his skin soft as though he had never worked a day in his life. She hoped her hands didn’t feel rough underneath his as she guided them towards Millicent’s fur, touching the cat herself as well.

“Now, try to breathe slowly,” she told him, watching as he gently stroked his beloved pet. “But also inhale deeply – try to relax, like Millicent is relaxed through all of this.”

Noticing his gaze on her, she realized that he didn’t really trust that, but he tried to obey her, his breath deeper and slower now as he focused once more on Millicent, and when he closed his eyes, Rey realized that she was beginning to sense something.

It wasn’t peace though, it was a sense of fear and anger, of courage and patience and more frustration than she had ever felt. It was everything that was in his heart, but it did not tell her whether he would honor the peace treaty or not.

“Keep breathing,” she said softly, looking at him as he sat in front of her with his head bent, his mind relaxing and his aura becoming clearer. “Talk to me, Hux. What is your intent with the Resistance?”

She had only uttered the word Resistance, or she felt a surge of annoyance from him.

“I need them to work along,” he replied, still keeping his eyes closed. “If they work along, then this war can be over and I can rule in an era of peace. If I fail, more lives will be lost.”

She could feel his honesty in this, but it wasn’t enough.

“Is that the reputation you want?” she asked. “Of a peacemaker?”

Annoyance came through.

“I want to show the galaxy that no good has ever come from keeping Force-users in charge. There has been one war after the after for generations. The universe needs a type of stability that those strong with the Force could never provide because they only abuse that power given to them.”

His frustration and anger and hatred nearly overwhelmed her, especially when she considered that this frustration was maybe also directed at her, and as he realized just what he had said, he opened his eyes and stared at her in a bit of fear, wondering just how strongly she had sensed that.

Her horrified expression made him realize that he hadn’t held back at all, and just as he tried to close himself off from the Force again, she raised her hand, wanting to stop him from pulling back, just to keep that link open, like she had when Kylo Ren had tried to sever their connection on the Finalizer.

And just like that time, due to their eye contact, she ended up where she had no right to be. The images flashed by quickly, and she was too overwhelmed to get out straight away.

She saw Snoke toss Hux to the ground like he was nothing but a rag doll. She saw Kylo do the same to some officers, while Hux stoically stood to the side but cried out in frustration on the inside. She saw a man, an officer, with ginger hair but a bigger build, punch her – or Hux, rather – as he looked down upon him. “If you’re unable to stop being so weak of mind you won’t last a minute in Snoke’s presence, boy!” The man’s voice sounded more like a roar, and Rey could almost feel the impact of the man’s punches on her own skin.

“Get out!” The shrill voice that shouted at her was not the officer’s, but more familiar, and as she realized how lost she was in memories where she had no place to be, she pulled back, literally losing her balance as she found herself in Hux’s quarters again. Disoriented, she fell with her back against the table after she had removed herself from his mind rather abruptly.

As her eyes looked for Hux’s, she could see how angry and betrayed he felt, disgust on his face as he looked at her. His lips were pierced together while he collected his thoughts, and as she sat up straight, she had a pained expression on her face.

“Hux, I’m so sorry,” she whispered hoarsely, but he wouldn’t listen to her. He lifted Millicent in his arms as he got up, and he immediately left the room, too upset to reply.

Rey wanted to walk after him to apologize, but she also considered for a moment what she had seen precisely. An abusive father, an abusive Supreme Leader, and an abusive co-worker in the form of Kylo Ren. She felt sorry for him, something which she never would have imagined possible, but she did believe that he wanted to show the galaxy that he was capable of bringing peace. She had felt that ambition and that need to show he was not like Snoke, even if he himself had wallowed in darkness for so much of his life.

But she had proven every bit as untrustworthy as all other Force users in his life. He had given her a chance to work alongside him, to bring balance to the universe, and she had penetrated his mind just as rudely as Kylo Ren had once done to her. She knew what it was like to go through that, and feeling like she needed to apologize, she headed into his room, where she found him in front of the window, his aura not entirely closed up after what had happened, and she could feel his struggle as he stood with his back to her, though his head had turned at the sound of the door sliding open.

He didn’t look at her directly, and Rey approached him slowly.

“That’s far enough,” he said strictly when she was halfway across the room, and she stopped where she was.

“Hux, I’m so sorry,” she said once more. “I’m so ashamed. I didn’t mean to, but I don’t control my powers very well and it’s not like this is something I had ever practiced before.”

In some way, her words calmed him, for she felt his aura grow still, patient and closed, and in a matter of seconds, she was unable to sense him again.

“If you utter a word of this to anyone, then…”

“I won’t,” she interrupted him, stepping closer, even if he had forbidden her to. He didn’t protest as she walked to his side.

She took a hold of his hand and tried to look him in the eye, but he dodged her gaze.

“I know that what I saw was private. And I’m sorry – about the things I saw. Those were horrible things, and no one should…”

He pulled his hand from hers and sneered at her, effectively shutting her up with his gaze alone. He didn’t appreciate her empathic gaze on him, and as he looked into her eyes, he fiercely said: “By tomorrow you better no longer feel sorry about this. If I see one ounce of weakness in your eyes, or if you remind me in any way of what happened here tonight, then I shall not be forgiving.”

He was threatening her, she realized that. But she also understood where it came from, and so she only nodded.

“I understand, Hux. Will you give me your word that you will still honor the peace treaty with the Resistance?”

“And suddenly my word is good enough?” There could not be more disdain in his tone.

Rey sighed. “Yes. Because I sensed your sincerity, before I messed up. You may be complex and overflowing in negative emotions, but I sensed no deception or will to deceive me.” She saw how that assessment of him intrigued him a little, and for a brief moment it seemed like he was no longer upset with her, until his gaze hardened again.

“Good. Then I give you my word. Now go to your own room.”

Rey bowed her head – not even sure why she did it, but something about him commanded respect when he spoke like that, and she left him alone. She knew she wasn’t going to sleep well, if she was going to sleep at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Also, here's a treat for you all, a piece of art from this chapter, as drawn by clara_gemm, who you can find on Tumblr:
> 
> Hope to hear from you in a comment!


	8. Dreams of Torture

Hux didn’t sleep easy, but with Millicent by his side, he did calm eventually, falling into a dreamless sleep until he woke because Millicent stirred.

But it wasn’t just that, there was a soft noise coming from his bedside table, and as he realized that the datapad on it was trembling slightly, and that this was what had awoken Millicent as well, he felt terribly confused. Gazing out the window, the ship didn’t seem to be moving much, it was simply in orbit around Crait, and he sat up straight to look around the room. Millicent had walked to the door towards where Rey slept, and Hux wondered for a moment why the room seemed to vibrate ever so slightly.

When it increased and the vibrations became louder, Millicent meowed, and as Hux thought his cat to be wiser than him at times, he got up out of bed as well, and opened the door. Millicent immediately slid inside the room, and he followed, looking at Rey as she lay on the sofa, twisting and turning violently, moaning in agony and pain, and the sight alarmed him a little.

Despite their argument of before, he had not seen her in pain yet. And it worried him more than he would like to admit.

She had shown emotional pain, but not physical one, and as he realized that she was getting the table to vibrate too, he felt like he needed to wake her, to stop this nightmare for her. When the room itself began to creak under the pressure of her Force powers, he worried that she would endanger the entire ship if he did not stop her, and he rushed by her side to shake her awake.

“Rey, wake up!” he urged her, his hands on her shoulders, blocking her arms the moment she woke and thought she needed to fight him off. “Rey, it’s me – don’t fight!”

She wanted to push his hands away, but as she realized where she was and who she was with, she gasped and her heavy breathing calmed down while she looked around, and then suddenly dropped back into the pillows.

Bringing the back of her own hand to her forehead, she realized she was bathing in sweat, and she groaned.

“Are you alright?” Hux asked as he sat on his knees by her side, and her gaze fixed on his.

He didn’t seem upset anymore, and he seemed like a completely different man the way he sat by her side. He was no longer wearing the uniform, but instead wore a black top like the one she was wearing, sleeveless and revealing his pasty, thin arms, which almost seemed elegant to Rey, for lack of a better word.

But it was his face that was the most surprising. His hair wasn’t held back by an obscene amount of hair gel this time, but it hung loosely in his face, and he seemed another person altogether.

“Yes,” she replied, more out of politeness than anything else. She wasn’t really alright, but she didn’t feel worthy of his worrying. “Did I… Did I shout or something?”

He shook his head. “Not really. You were mumbling. But you made everything around you shake. I was afraid you were going to tear down the ship for a moment.”

She gulped and paled visibly. She hadn’t realized that she had the power to do such a thing, but since the Force had awoken within her, she had hardly had the time to come to terms with all the changes that entailed for her. If that meant her nightmares would become more vivid, she would have rather remained ordinary.

“What were you dreaming?” he asked. “You seemed to be in a great amount of pain.”

It was an incredibly personal question, but due to the fact that she still felt guilty about penetrating his mind, she felt like she owed him some insight into her own brain as well.

“When I came aboard the Supremacy, Snoke tortured me,” she admitted, and as she looked at him, she realized that he wasn’t really surprised about that. “He extended me into the air and I felt like he was going to rip me apart, cell by cell.” Her voice choked up at the memory, but she forbade herself to cry. “He was in my dream, doing it again.”

Hux was quiet, but understanding.

“I too have had dreams of torture… You saw in my mind how he treated me too,” Hux admitted softly. While he had forbidden her to ever mention it again, his resolve had already changed. “When he was displeased with me, he would toss me around, often in front of my crew. That might not have been as painful as what you just described to me, but it is terrifying to surrender all control over your body to someone like Snoke, to be powerless.”

Rey nodded in agreement, grateful that he seemed to understand.

“You should try to catch some more sleep,” he said gently, getting up from where he had sat, but he startled when he realized that Rey had taken his hand before he had been able to move away.

Upon realizing how startled he had responded, she immediately let go of his hand again, telling herself that she didn’t need comfort or company, though part of her didn’t really believe it.

“Maybe…” He realized that she was still frightened. “Maybe you should hop into the sonic shower for a moment – clear your mind a bit.”

She nodded, taking any advice to feel like Snoke was no longer possessing her body, and she got up from the sofa, throwing the blankets off of her again before she followed Hux into his room, but went towards the bathroom.

“I’ll try and sleep some more,” Hux said, by means of apologizing for going back to bed, but Rey didn’t mind.

“Of course,” she said briefly. “You should. I’m terribly sorry for waking you.”

He waved it away rather awkwardly. “No matter, Rey.”

While she disappeared into the bathroom, he crawled back into bed, his arms behind his head as he couldn’t fall asleep while he heard her moving about.

When he heard that she was nearly done, he turned to his side, pretending to be asleep, though he realized something the moment she entered the room again, and he leaned on his elbow as he looked at her.

“Rey?”

She bit her lip as she looked at him, her arms wrapped around her stomach.

“Yes?”

“Leave the door open,” he told her. “Just in case… in case it happens again. I can wake you if you have a nightmare.”

She nodded slowly.

“Thank you. That’s kind.”

He nodded in return, and watched how she disappeared into her own room.

As he lay down again, he frowned.

_Kind._

He’d never been called kind before. He’d never aspired to be kind. But strangely enough, it didn’t feel like an insult. Coming from her mouth, it felt like a compliment he was undeserving of.

 

 

When he woke a few hours later, he could not fall back asleep. He wouldn’t.

He was always a little tired, but he wasn’t lazy and he would not give into temptation, no matter how warm or comfortable his bed had felt. As he sat up in his bed, his dreams were already forgotten, and he stretched before he stood up.

Though he had the intention to take a shower to wake himself up, he found his feet brought him to the other room, where Rey lay asleep, no longer tossing and turning, but quite peaceful as Millicent lay at her feet, purring gently, and opening her eyes when she sensed her master’s presence.

Hux smiled at his cat and walked a little closer to pat her on the head, but his gaze lingered on Rey. Her hair lay loosely on her pillow and her breathing was so gentle that it was calming to watch. He had no doubt about it that her nightmares were over for now, and that it was safe if he stopped watching over her.

But still, he stood there for a moment longer, his lips curled up a little as he looked at his own, personal Jedi. She was a little messed up, but that was also the source of his intrigue, and he wondered what powers she would share with him.

As he headed into the bathroom to clean himself up, he was reminded of how her powers hadn’t left him particularly happy the evening before. What she had seen had been incredibly personal, and he had hoped that such humiliation and pain would remain his own secret to bear. Unfortunately, the Force had willed it another way, and now some of his biggest weaknesses were revealed to her.

But the Force had also revealed some of her weaknesses to him. She too had suffered at the hands of Snoke and had felt what it was like to lose control over her body because of the will of another. And he had already known how conflicted she felt about killing General Organa’s son – his old nemesis – Kylo Ren.

He would not quickly admit it, but he had always looked up to General Organa in some way. The Resistance had had many fools in their ranks, but not General Organa. She was a legend and a very competent leader. She had honor and a remarkable fighting spirit, as well as a keen political mind and an intelligence that was unmatched in most among the Resistance.

He had respected her as an adversary, far more than he had ever respected Kylo Ren. That man had been a loose cannon and a danger to the First Order. He had injured more of Hux’s crew than any Resistance spy ever had. He had used them as his own personal rag dolls whenever he had felt a need to establish his dominance or whenever his ego needed a boost, and each time he’d been angry, he’d come close to killing them in his rage.

He honestly did not understand how Rey didn’t feel more pride for murdering him. The man had been dreadful, and the First Order was better off without him and Snoke and the other Knights of Ren.

He wasn’t surprised that Leia had never come forward about her son being Kylo Ren – and as he remembered that Darth Vader had been her father, and realized the link between Kylo and Vader, he shook his head. Poor Leia. She’d been stuck between two generations of idiotic Force users. It was a wonder she was as sane as she was.

By the time he emerged from the bathroom, he had gone over various scenarios for the peace treaty negotiations that day, and when he entered his room and saw that Rey was making his bed, he frowned in disapproval.

“What are you doing?” he demanded to know, feeling like maybe she was trying to find some weakness, but she seemed surprised that his tone was so accusatory.

“Returning a favor,” she replied. “You cleaned up my bed yesterday, even when you didn’t need to.”

He remembered, but in his case, he’d done that because her bed was in his living room, and he never knew when an officer would call on him and see her mess.

Still, the gesture was kind of her, and he relaxed visibly.

“Thank you,” he said. “You don’t need to do that.”

She nodded with a small smile, but still continued to straighten the sheets, and when she was done and Millicent jumped on the bed, undoing her hard work, she picked Millicent up again.

“Millicent!” she said strictly, waving her finger in front of the cat.

When she realized that maybe it wasn’t up to her to berate Hux’s cat for anything, she visibly startled, and as she looked at Hux to see if he was okay with that, she saw he had a small half-smile on his face.

“I doubt telling her off is going to make a difference. When we’ve left the room, she does as she wants.”

Millicent tried to escape Rey’s arms, and Rey had to let her go, sighing deeply as Millicent jumped on the bed again and lay down where Hux had slept before.

“I always think she likes to sleep on the spot where I slept because of the residual warmth there.”

Rey smiled. “I can’t blame her. These First Order vessels are cold.” She rubbed her bare arms, and made her way to the bathroom, checking with him: “Do you mind? Were you done?”

“By all means…” He gracefully stepped aside as she passed him, and it was only when she was in the bathroom that he realized he’d smiled at her while he had said that.

What was up with that? He had never been the smiling type, but it came so easily now.

Was it because he was finally the Supreme Leader? Was it because he no longer needed to worry about suffering abuse at the hands of Snoke?

Or was it because he _liked_ her? Even though she was so plain in some ways, she was very complex in others. And he liked that she kept him on his toes and that she shared some things with him which he imagined she hadn’t shared with many others.

After all, he was the only one to know about what had gone on between Kylo and her, wasn’t he? She had confided in him and no one else, not even General Organa.

He shoved those feelings of pride aside to focus on the work ahead. Before the General would come, he’d need to go over a few reports and visit the bridge. He could not get distracted now, no matter how young and pretty his new Jedi ally was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you looking for more Reyux - I just uploaded a one-shot today, modern AU Reyux with some fluff and smut - Hux is a doctor and Rey is a mechanic who ends up in his ER after a fight with Kylo Ren. Check it out if that's your thing! :-D It's called "An Eventful Night" (lame title, I know.)
> 
> Also, thanks so much for the continued support on this story! Let me know how you feel with a sweet comment and I'll work on publishing the next chapter soon!


	9. Guilt to Shed

Rey didn’t know if she particularly liked being Hux’s shadow. She just stood by his side, watching him discuss things with his officers. Sometimes the officers whispered, as though they didn’t want her to hear, but she, frankly, didn’t bother to listen most of the times anyway.

It bored her. For the largest part, they just discussed logistics and reallocations of their resources and crew. They spoke of sectors and vessels she didn’t know anything about, and as she watched some officers behind their consoles, she wondered how they weren’t bored out of their minds with the dull monitoring jobs they were tasked with.

But as she looked at Hux as he was too engaged to pay attention to her, she realized how well he fit in the strict environment that the First Order presented everywhere it went. She, on the other hand, stood out like a sore thumb. Some officers had looked at her disdainfully at first, maybe because of the way she was dressed, maybe because of her former alliance, but by now they all seemed to ignore her. She still felt out of place.

Meanwhile, Hux appeared like a true leader of the pack. He stood straight and proud, and he cut a handsome figure in his First Order uniform. She was quite amused by that, because his shoulders seemed so much broader than they actually were.

She’d seen it the night before. He was skin over bones, hardly wider than she was. Without the uniform, one could even call him fragile, and with his hair in a mess, one could even consider him likeable. The way he appeared among his crew wasn’t as agreeable. Everything about the way he held himself kept others at a tolerable distance. He was approachable for anything work-related, but no one would ever dare to discuss anything personal with him. She found the contrast quite amusing.

Her mind was rather distracted when Hux suddenly moved away and turned to her, waiting for her to catch up, and she quickly followed behind him, wondering what she had missed and why they were now leaving the bridge.

They didn’t go far, and found a meeting room down the ship’s corridor. In it, an officer had just finished laying out some datapads, as well as something to drink. When he saw Hux, he immediately saluted him.

“At ease, Lieutenant,” Hux stated. “How much longer until General Organa arrives?”

“We estimated that she should be here in ten minutes, Supreme Leader.”

Rey still found the title of ‘Supreme Leader’ a bit over the top, but Hux did not seem to hold anything against it, and merely nodded.

“Thank you, Lieutenant Mitaka. If today goes well, we might clear this area of space soon. What are the latest reports from the salvage operation of the Supremacy?”

“Twenty-three percent of the Supremacy was irreparably damaged, sir,” Mitaka said as he took a datapad and opened more statistics. “The estimated guess of casualties currently lies around four hundred thousand crew members. The space around the wreckage is littered with debris and bodies and the salvage is going slower than expected. We still have about one point three million crewmembers aboard the wreckage at this moment, awaiting better accommodations. The main problem is that our Star Destroyers were already near maximum capacity at the time of the crash and while they can each take in about thirty thousand crew members each if they operate with a hot bunking system, they are not proper accommodations for the younglings and officers in training.”

“I don’t want those who are loyal to the First Order to live in a wreckage that is helplessly adrift in space,” Hux stated, frustration clear from his tone, though it was obvious that this frustration was not directed at Mitaka, but at the situation. “It pains me to admit that one singular Resistance general was able to cripple us in this way. We can create more Star Destroyers, but even if we were to populate them each with a hundred thousand crew members, it would require a large amount of them to house the two million survivors of the Supremacy, and they take too long to make.”

Hux balled his fists as he thought about it.

“We’ve always tried not to depend too much on planetary bases, Starkiller being the exception, but if the Resistance is not shy of using old Rebel bases, perhaps we can do the same with old Empire ones?”

“Perhaps…” Rey immediately shut up when Hux and Mitaka turned to her, both surprised that she was talking at all, and she didn’t dare to continue until she saw Hux nod at her, his expression inviting. She took a small breath. “Perhaps… we can ask General Organa if there are more old Rebel bases nearby? Maybe it can be a part of the peace treaty that such accommodations can be shared from now on? The one on Crait seemed quite large. Maybe a part of your crew can stay there?”

Rey hesitantly looked at Hux, and when she saw how proud he seemed that she had dared to speak up, she averted her eyes, a blush on her face.

“That’s a welcome suggestion,” he acknowledged her idea. “I shall discuss this with General Organa.” Turning to Mitaka, he added: “Will you escort her here?”

“Right away, sir!” the lieutenant said, saluting once more before he left the room.

Hux turned to Rey with a small smile, saying: “You are always welcome to speak your mind, especially if your ideas can help solve issues we are currently having.”

He had told her so before, but now that she had actually dared to speak up and she hadn’t been shut down, she felt a little bolder about it than before. It was nice to realize she had a voice by his side.

“Will you stay by my side during these final negotiations?” he asked her, but as he saw how uneasy she looked as she considered it, he added: “If it were anyone but Leia coming here to negotiate, would you still feel so bad about my invitation?”

She sighed. “Hux, you know already that I don’t want to have that conversation with her. I can hardly have it with myself without breaking down in tears.” Just admitting that made her lip tremble again, and he noticed.

“You did the right thing in ridding the galaxy of him,” Hux offered as comfort.

“Did I?” she replied harshly, frowning as she shook her head. “I don’t think I did. I saw things, Hux. A vision. I thought he’d bring an end to the war, with me.”

“It’s obvious that he won’t anymore,” Hux said dryly, but as he saw how upset his tone made her, he approached her and put his gloved hand on her shoulder. “But you still can, Rey. You’re doing it right now. Are you certain that this isn’t what the vision showed you instead?”

Rey was quiet at those words, considering for a moment what it was that she had seen. It hadn’t lasted very long, and it had been impressions more than sights that had been imprinted on her. Hope, love, family, and she had known he would turn on Snoke, and that he’d extend his hand to her, and that she wouldn’t feel alone afterwards. But she still felt alone, and terribly conflicted and confused by this.

Had she interpreted the vision all wrong? Hadn’t it been Kylo by her side after all? She sighed in surrender.

“I don’t know, Hux,” she admitted. “It was vague.”

He patted her shoulder briefly. “Then keep an open mind. You can still bring an end to the war, by my side. Does this not stir a new hope in you?”

It didn’t. Not when she thought of Ben.

“I’ve become a murderer,” she said as she looked into Hux’s eyes. “That does not instill hope in me at all.”

“You did what everyone in a war would do,” Hux offered gently. “You killed an enemy. Don’t beat yourself up about it this way. It happened.”

“How could I ever tell Leia?” she asked, sighing to herself as she closed her eyes. “How can I tell her I killed her child?”

Hux frowned. “Kylo Ren was an adult, Rey. A very annoying one, at that. That officer you just saw? Lieutenant Mitaka? He has only just recovered from being choked by that ‘child’ you just mentioned. Whatever you thought of him, he was no angel. He harmed people. Did he not harm you?”

She remembered how he had invaded her mind. It hadn’t hurt much, but it had been far from pleasant. She also recalled how he had thrown her into a tree on Starkiller Base, and how tough their subsequent battle had been. But at the same time, she thought he’d shown some restraint, and that her injuries could have been far greater. She had never shown restraint towards him, and now he was dead because of it.

“We were enemies,” she replied, as though that was enough of an answer. “Of course we harmed each other.”

“Well, he harmed more than just his enemies, like Lieutenant Mitaka. At least you have the decency not to attack those that have done you no harm.”

When the door suddenly slid open and Mitaka stepped in with General Organa, Rey visibly startled, and Hux stepped away from Rey to shake the general’s hand.

“Pardon me for being a little early,” Leia said formally. “I would not like to make a bad impression by arriving late.”

“I appreciate it,” Hux said as he gestured towards the table. “I must admit that being late is one of my pet peeves. You remain in good standing for these negotiations.”

He nodded to Mitaka, who saw it as his cue to leave, and the door closed again.

Leia chuckled briefly, amused by Hux’s attempt at flattery.

Rey was standing still, not entirely certain what to do, and she startled again when Leia suddenly asked: “Will you be joining us today, Rey?”

She opened her mouth, then closed it again, looking at Hux for help, but even he wasn’t certain whether it was up to him to come to her aid or not. He could send her away, but he also knew that she had to face her guilt sooner rather than later, and he imagined Leia to be more forgiving than Rey probably imagined.

“Rey?” Leia had picked up on the fact that something was wrong, and moved towards Rey, noticing how the girl was close to tears now.

Rey wrapped her hands around her arms as she braced herself, her chin trembling before she admitted: “I did something horrible.”

Her voice was shaking as the tears started to fall freely, but Leia already knew what it was and wrapped her arms around Rey’s neck, pulling her in for a hug.

“I know, my dear.” She rubbed Rey’s back. “My son is dead. Don’t think for one moment that I’m going to blame you for the fight that he probably started.”

Rey was too choked up to speak, but still put her hands on Leia’s back, sniffing and trying not to cry too much. As she realized Hux was watching, she looked at him, seeing how his expression was grave as well, but he still nodded encouragingly at her.

“We were fighting,” she admitted, looking at Hux, finding it easier if she told him instead of Leia. “I thought he was going to strike me down, so I fought back to defend myself, but he didn’t strike.” She took a shaky breath. “I did. I killed him, because I didn’t realize in time he’d stopped fighting. I was too blinded by my own fear and anger to realize he wasn’t going to kill me.”

Hux hadn’t heard the story quite like that before, and he understood a little better why Rey was so upset about it now. It almost sounded like, by giving up the fight, Kylo had somehow forced her to cross a line towards the Dark Side.

Leia drew back from Rey to look at her, but still held onto Rey, her hands gently wrapped around the girls’ elbows.

“Rey, don’t blame yourself,” Leia said with sadness in her eyes. “It is what it is now. He was too far gone.”

“Or maybe he wasn’t, and I ended it before he could turn back to the good side forever,” Rey continued, tears still flowing over her cheeks. “He wasn’t angry with me when he died.”

As Rey shook and cried, Leia wiped the girl’s tears away, nothing but compassion in her eyes.

“Then maybe there is hope for his soul, Rey,” she said softly. “Maybe you saved him, but not in the way you expected.”

Rey tried to wipe her tears away, only finding a little solace in Leia’s words, and nodded. She didn’t want to stay to discuss this though, and turned to Hux as she asked: “May I be excused?”

Hux didn’t want to keep her there against her will, and looked to Leia, who nodded so briefly that it was difficult to spot.

“Of course,” he replied.

Rey left the room, still in tears as she walked through the corridors, back to their quarters. She dodged the gazes of officers and stormtroopers that passed her, and once inside, she threw herself on the sofa, clutching her stomach and shaking as she tried to calm down. But that was easier said than done, for she still felt like she had lost a part of herself.

 

 

In the meanwhile, Hux and Leia had sat down around the table, and to Hux, the General looked tired with grief and loss. He realized that it had to be hard for her to deal with these negotiations on top of all of that.

“Did you know of my son?” she asked, sighing.

“That he was Kylo Ren?” Hux’s voice was soft for once. “Rey told me. It was a bit of a surprise.”

Leia almost chuckled, shaking her head. “I see Snoke didn’t want you to know of the ties he had to the Resistance.”

“Had I known, I would have opposed him every step of the way,” Hux admitted. “And trust me, I already opposed him plenty without knowing.”

Leia’s smile was sad. “I’m not surprised. He must have been a thorn in your side. He wasn’t made for politics, like you. Lacked the finesse and patience for it.”

Strangely enough, Hux felt flattered. He wasn’t certain if she’d intended to give a compliment, but he took it as such.

“I’m glad that Rey didn’t keep it all to herself though,” Leia continued. “Did you force her to tell you?”

“Not really,” Hux said honestly. “I might have insisted in some way, but I don’t feel like I forced her. I found her when I came upon the scene. Snoke dead, Kylo dead, and Rey laying on the floor, crying. Her conscience was already eating at her before I’d even said anything to her.”

“You’ve kept her by your side.” Leia narrowed her eyes now, trying to calculate his intentions. “Why? What is she to you?”

He found it hard not to blink under such a persistent gaze, and kept quiet for a moment. “Honestly? I’m not entirely certain yet. As a Jedi, she could be a peacekeeper, helping the First Order find balance that was out of reach when we were ruled by disciples of the Dark Side.”

“She could be a Jedi, but I don’t think she is right now,” Leia said. “She isn’t balanced.”

Hux nodded as he remembered her nightmare and the way it had shook his entire room. “I know,” he agreed.

“Yet you keep her by your side. Are you not threatened by her?” Leia asked.

Hux slowly shook his head. Even if he’d seen first-hand what she was capable of, he didn’t feel hostility from her. He wasn’t afraid of her either. Whether that was wise, remained to be seen.

“She’s the first Force user I’ve been able to tolerate,” he said, and Leia smiled briefly.

“Good. I like her too. I’d like to talk to her some more, in private. Would that be possible?”

At this, Hux hesitated for a brief moment. “I will gladly arrange something, if we can continue our peace talks on the subject of FN-2187, where we ended them last night.”

Leia’s gaze turned severe again, but she nodded. “I’m willing to talk about it.”

 

 

He found Rey in his living room, lying on her back in the couch, Millicent asleep on her stomach. She didn't dare to get up out of fear of waking the cat, and Hux did not blame her for it. He could see from her eyes she'd been crying, and her cheeks still seemed damp from tears.

"Hey," he said softly as he sat down on the low table next to her. 

"Hey," she replied just as softly, and Millicent stirred at the sudden vibration beneath her, standing up on Rey's stomach while she started purring at the sight of her master. 

Hux took her into his lap instead, petting her while Rey sat up straight.

"Is Leia gone?" she asked. "Is the peace treaty signed?"

He shook his head.

"We're taking a little break right now." He looked as Rey nodded briefly, before he continued: "She wanted to talk to you."

She took a deep, slow breath. It didn't really surprise her. It wasn't just about Ben. It was about Luke as well. She wondered how she was going to bring the news to Leia that her brother could not be bothered to help out in this war anymore. But this was something that was not for Hux's ears. She had no idea what his reaction would be. Kylo and Snoke had sought to destroy Luke and whether Hux would wish to finish that mission, she did not know. She didn't dare to ask either, afraid to alert him to Luke's existence. So far he had not asked about him, and she preferred to keep it that way.

As a response to her continued silence, he checked: "Are you alright with that? With speaking to her in private?"

Rey nodded briefly, but did not meet his gaze. Instead, she looked at his gloved hands as he petted Millicent. 

"I don't think I have a choice," she stated in hardly more than a whisper. 

"You do," he said quietly. "But admittedly, she'd think I'm holding you from her, and that's one impression I'd rather not give her. I want you to make the decision to talk to her on your own."

Rey nodded. She couldn’t keep on hiding behind Hux.

“I apologize if I’m being difficult,” she said softly, offering him a half-smile, and strangely enough, he returned it.

“Of all Force users I’ve ever met, you’re by far the easiest,” he admitted with a small grin. “I shall wait on the bridge while you talk to Leia. You can come and fetch me when you’re done.”

She took a deep breath before she got up, and he put down Millicent before he did the same.

“After you,” he said graciously as he let her lead the way, and though it was scary facing Leia alone, it was a comfort to Rey that when the conversation was over, she’d have this small and comforting area of the ship to return to again.

 

Leia stood by the window, overlooking the planet of Crait as Rey stepped inside, and she tried to sound as light as she could as she said: “You wished to talk to me?”

The General offered Rey a sad smile.

“Yes. I think you know what about.”

She took a ring from her pocket and approached Rey with it.

As Rey looked at the ring, she realized that it wasn’t really a ring – it was a device, a large pearl covering the hidden technology beneath. Leia pressed it, and didn’t waste any time before she said: “This should give us one minute of true privacy, in case they’re recording the audio anywhere. It’s a scrambler. Is Luke alive?”

Realizing she had not much time, Rey nodded. “Yes, on Ahch-To, but he is a hermit, unwilling to fight. He taught me a little bit of the Jedi way, but I’m far from calling myself a Jedi.”

Whether that news had any impact on the General, Rey could not tell, for she immediately continued with the next question.

“Hux knows?”

“Of Luke, no – but that I’m not a true Jedi, yes.”

“And the Falcon?”

“Chewie is waiting for my signal – I think. I’m not entirely certain if he’s still around nearby.”

“And you – are they treating you alright?”

“Better than I could have expected,” Rey admitted. “There has been no violence.”

“So far, at least,” Leia said darkly, and Rey could only nod in agreement.

Leia tapped the pearl gently with her finger, indicating that their privacy was over again, before she said: “I had not expected you to tell them about my son.”

Rey felt her heart jump. She hadn’t expected the conversation to shift so quickly to that subject again, and Leia noticed.

“I’m not upset. They would have figured out one way or another. And Hux said something interesting about it yesterday.”

“What’s that?”

“He said that maybe the First Order and Resistance had been closer than we’d been able to see so far. Do you feel like that is the case?”

Rey hesitated. It was a tough question.

“I’m not sure. But I do know that there are good people following orders on this ship. But I don’t think they’re raised with much kindness in mind. Efficiency takes top priority, and emotion is weakness.”

Leia nodded. “I fear it will be difficult to change their xenophobic points of view, but I’m hopeful that by allowing our most alien allies to work alongside them, we’ll be able to show them their worth.”

“That’s in the peace treaty?” Rey asked, and Leia nodded.

“You should stick around for the rest of it. We still have a few more things to discuss.”

Rey shook her head. “I’m not sure I can help much. Besides, I should try meditating. I haven’t been feeling very balanced after everything that happened on the Supremacy.”

Her lip trembled as she admitted that, and she found Leia’s hand on her shoulder. “Rey, guilt doesn’t suit you. I’m certain Ben wouldn’t want you to feel that way either about what happened.”

Those words broke something in her, and before her tears fell down her cheeks, she wrapped her arms around Leia, holding her for comfort.

“It’s alright,” Leia comforted her. “You’re going to be fine. And I’ll be seeing more of you, I’m certain of it. You’re not alone.”

Leia couldn’t explain why that made Rey sob even harder, and so she just held on tightly to the emotional girl in her arms.

 

 

By the time she went to get Hux, she’d calmed down again, but it had taken a while. Leia had told Rey she’d been welcomed to some of the higher rank meetings of the First Order, at the invitation of Hux himself. They would be seeing a whole lot more of one another soon, and though Rey was in part a little frustrated that there would be no escaping Leia, another part of her was starting to realize that Leia was not the enemy – her guilt was.

She knew she had to work hard to get rid of it, and it was with renewed determination that she told Hux that Leia wanted to discuss the rest of the peace treaty with him.

As she escorted him back to the meeting room, he stopped her before they entered the room again.

“Will you join us?”

Rey shook her head.

“I have a lot to think about. A lot of guilt to shed before I’ll be able to find balance again.”

She seemed calmer, somehow, and that pleased Hux.

“Good. Take as much time as you need.” He had decided he would be generous with her, and it already seemed to be paying off. She was communicating willingly with him and he could only imagine that if he gave her more time, there was little she would not confide in him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Star Wars Celebration 2020 has been announced! The last weekend of August 2020, a 4 day convention. I'm making plans to go as we speak! :-)
> 
> Also, if anyone is looking for a fun Reyux community, ask for the discord link in a comment, I can get you in. There's less than 30 of us (of which a majority is rather passive-inactive), but the rest of us are having a great time, so feel free to come and join us!


	10. Nothing but a Bother

As he walked back to his quarters after having escorted General Organa to her transport out, he was looking forward to seeing Rey again. He had good news and was eager to share it with her.

He was smiling as he opened the door, though his expression fell as he saw the way Rey was seated on the ground, not too far from him. Her palms were flat against her knees, and her face was in a frown. And as she heard him, she peeked open one eye, soon opening both eyes to look at him expectantly.

“You seem happy,” she remarked when the door slid closed, and he nodded as he saw how Millicent was sitting perfectly still by her side, following him with her gaze just as Rey was.

“I am. We signed a peace treaty. By tomorrow, we can declare peace over our part of the galaxy.”

Rey offered him a polite smile, but wasn’t certain who he meant with ‘we’ precisely.

“How did your meditation go?” He asked, sitting down on the couch as he took off his gloves. “Did Millicent disturb you?”

She shook her head. “No, not at all. But the meditation didn’t go great. I’ve never meditated aboard a vessel before. There’s no sun, no wind, no water, nothing to focus on or ground myself to. It’s incredibly distracting. I may have calmed down, but I didn’t reach a very deep state of meditation or insight.”

She crawled up onto her knees and stood up, Millicent stretching her back at the same time, then moving to Rey to rub against her legs.

As Rey walked over to sit down on the couch as well, the cat had already jumped up on the empty space between her two masters.

“Leia was most helpful these negotiations,” Hux continued. “I told her about the shortage in vessels we are experiencing right now, and she has agreed to help us request aid from other planets.”

Rey frowned, not sure why the First Order would require aid with that.

“She said we would probably sound too much like invaders and scare off most planetary governments.”

Rey chuckled as she could see that. “And you weren’t insulted by her statement?”

Hux shrugged. “Not really. It’s a sensitive galaxy and tact isn’t always our forte.”

She chuckled again. “You’re not too bad at it.”

He felt genuinely praised by that. “Thank you. Leia didn’t initially agree to all my demands, nor did I agree to all of hers, but we have been able to make concessions to ensure peace. You will be seeing some of your friends more often, I have no doubt of it. Most of them will serve us for five years. If they do so without incidents or complaints, they are free men and women again, if they so wish to be. And if they wish to remain in the First Order and work alongside us to build stability, then they are welcome to do so as well.”

It sounded better than death to Rey, but she felt like he wasn’t saying something.

“You said ‘most’? What with those that don’t fall under ‘most’?”

As she looked at him, she saw how he shifted in his seat a bit, like he didn’t want to tell her.

“General Organa, for example, is an exception.”

“Exception? How?” Rey demanded to know, frowning.

“She is to remain in my service for as long as I am Supreme Leader.”

Rey was quiet, but there was nothing pleasant about her expression. As she gazed at Hux, she realized he didn’t dare to meet his gaze. When he eventually did, he explained: “The Resistance, the Rebels, whichever group of pariahs comes next will always want to employ General Organa. I need her by my side to ensure any new rebellions will not succeed. She can inspire loyalty among those in the galaxy that never felt loyalty to the First Order before.”

“Are you going to put her into one of your uniforms?” Rey asked disdainfully, to which Hux turned her way and his jaw dropped.

“What would make you think that? Have I put _you_ in a uniform? Besides, Leia has more style than you.”

Now it was Rey’s turn to feel insulted. As she looked down at her clothes, she frowned. “What’s wrong with what I wear?”

Hux was frowning too as he gestured at her. “That unnecessary shawl thing you’re wearing? It makes no sense and makes you look poor. At least General Organa has class.”

She was furious because of the way he spoke of her that way, and snapped: “At least General Organa didn’t grow up in a rusty AT-AT on Jakku, without parents or anyone to look after her! She _had_ clothes to wear while I had to scavenge them off corpses as I grew bigger.”

Not wanting to speak to him any further, she stormed off, causing Millicent to jump. She rushed to the other room, not caring that it was Hux’s bedroom. She wasn’t sharing any more breathing space with him for the night, and closed the door behind her in her anger, kicking the wall before she sat on his bed, glaring at the door.

Hux could only gulp as he sat stock-still on the couch. He had messed that one up pretty badly. He was certain she’d take back what she’d said about his tact now.

 

 

Hux felt a little awkward. It had been a few hours and he was still in the living room, afraid to go into his own bedchambers.

It was ridiculous that he, the Supreme Leader of the First Order, was feeling hesitation about asserting his dominance over Rey. He should enter his room, tell her to leave him be, so he’d be back in his own bed and not on the couch, as he was now. As he had bided his time, he’d gone over some of the reports of the day, but his heart hadn’t been in it. He’d been consumed by something he wasn’t particularly familiar with. Guilt.

He knew he could apologize. He could say he hadn’t known about her past, not like that.

She’d called herself a nobody before, but now he knew she had no parents, nor any property. In the grand scheme of things, she hadn’t had any power, until now, yet she was keeping him whipped.

Logic dictated that a gentle approach could work on her, but being gentle scared him more than being crude, and so he settled for being indifferent about the entire situation, even if he really wasn’t.

He startled when Millicent started meowing and scratching at the door, and while he ignored it at first, he couldn’t for long as Millicent’s meowing continued.

When he got up, she kept quiet again, but still scratched at the door, and he eventually pushed the button in the wall to open it. When it opened, he froze.

Rey had fallen asleep on his bed, but the datapads that he had put to the side, seemed to be floating, as well as her own lightsaber. Meanwhile, she seemed to be having another bad dream, for she was trembling and mumbling, shaking her head involuntarily every few seconds.

It didn’t seem like the dream was too severe just yet, but he knew what it could lead to, and he wanted to stop it before it got that far. He was by her side in an instant, moving around the datapads on his way, and gently took her by the shoulders to shake her awake.

The moment she woke, the datapads clattered to the floor, and her lightsaber fell on the bed by her side, and she gasped for air as she looked around frantically.

It took her another moment to find her bearing, and when she saw Hux, his gaze was empathic.

“Did you have another bad dream?”

If she was still upset with him about earlier, she didn’t show it. Perhaps she had forgotten.

She nodded in response to his question. Her voice trembled as she whispered: “I was sent back to Jakku.”

“Why?” he asked curiously. He wondered what sort of fears her dreams revealed. “Who sent you back to Jakku?”

She had tears in her eyes as she answered: “Everyone. Leia, you… You all agreed I was useless and better off where I came from, where I wouldn’t get in the way.”

He considered for a moment in what way he could best give her comfort, and he gently put his hand on hers, patting it as he said: “Everyone has a purpose, Rey. The First Order provides meaning to everyone. Someone as talented as you has yet to live up to her potential. I’ll help you with that. I’m sorry if I haven’t been much help to you in that regard, I’ve been rather busy.”

Rey frowned as she listened to him. She wasn’t just disbelieving of what he said, she also remembered their earlier falling out and wasn’t sure she wanted to forget about it just yet.

“You’re the Supreme Leader,” Rey reminded him. “I’m nothing but a bother, stealing your bed, keeping you from a decent night’s sleep, unwilling to aid in peace treaties. I can’t even dress right.”

He sighed as he realized she hadn’t forgotten their earlier argument.

“I’m sorry for offending you.”

“You’re not sorry for thinking I can’t dress myself.”

He squeezed his lips tightly shut. He didn’t know how to win this one. He was either going to lie, or say his thoughts and make the rift between them even bigger.

“You’ve never had clothes of your own, I guess,” Hux said slowly. “I can help though. You can get any clothes that you may want. And I’m sorry for insulting you. I still don’t see the purpose of the shawl though.”

He had voiced it as carefully as he could.

“Warmth!” Rey explained. “But it’s also handy to have if you don’t want to get your hands dirty, or if there’s a sandstorm - it will keep the sand out of your hair and mouth.”

“There are no sandstorms here,” Hux reminded her carefully. “And I can get you some gloves if you don’t want to get your hands dirty.”

Rey rolled her eyes, but she had to admit that his arguments were… almost sweet. Or maybe she wasn’t listening correctly and responding more to his kind tone than to his actual words.

“I suppose you want your bed back,” she muttered, moving to crawl off the bed, but stopping when she saw the datapads on the floor. That was not how she had left them – in fact, she had hardly even touched them before she’d fallen asleep, and she remembered the clattering noise she had heard as she had woken up. “Did I do that?”

Turning to Hux again, she saw his brief nod and the worried crease in his brow. She understood that he was just as bothered about it as she was, and felt a horrible sinking sensation in her stomach. What she was capable of wasn’t normal at all.

“As Supreme Leader, I have access to some restricted information, books and such from older generations, from the Republic when Jedi kept the peace. Maybe I can find some Jedi books with information on how to deal with dreams like yours? You can’t be the first Force-user with nightmares.”

Rey still felt helpless as she asked: “What happens exactly when I sleep?”

He didn’t hesitate before he replied. “Just now, the datapads were floating, as was your lightsaber. You mumble and tremble, but nothing worse happened this time.”

Looking defeated, she sighed. “Only because you were awake to notice it.”

“Millicent did, actually,” he admitted. “She has a sixth sense for this sort of thing.”

As Rey looked at Millicent, the cat jumped on the bed by Rey’s side, and Rey stroked the skin behind her ears, giving Millicent reason to purr.

“You know…” She hesitated briefly. “A friend of mine has some old Jedi texts as well. I haven’t read them yet, but maybe they do have useful information as well, to help me with my training. But I bet he’s still hiding from the First Order right now. Can I ask him to deliver the books? Without him getting shot at, perhaps?”

Hux nodded. “We’ll arrange it in the morning.” As he sat down on the bed as well, Rey realized how out of bounds she was for even having slept on his bed, and she quickly knelt down to pick up all his datapads, putting them on the little table by the side of the bed before she mumbled an excuse. “Sorry about making such a mess. Sleep well.”

“Sleep well,” he replied, watching her leave his room, but she left the door open, and he knew why.

She was still scared her sleep would betray her and cause more tremors and such. And as before, he would make sure she’d wake before she could do any damage. But it was necessary that they found a way to deal with this, just in case there would be an occasion where he wasn’t around to wake her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you go to my other fanfictions on AO3, you can now find a modern AU Reyux fanfiction. It's a one-shot, but it's still juicy, so I hope you like! (Hux is a doctor and Rey needs some patching up!)


	11. A Spectacle of Give and Take

When he had allowed Rey to contact her mysterious friend with the Jedi books, Hux hadn’t realized that her ‘friend’ was none other than the old rebel Chewbacca, and that the vessel that had dropped out of light speed was the Millennium Falcon. Not until he had seen the ship with his own eyes.

They had awaited the vessel in the hangar with a few dozen Stormtroopers, and Hux had stood by the side as Rey had run over to the Wookie and given him a big hug.

Hux did not speak Shyriiwook, but assumed that the big, furry alien was very worried about Rey, for she kept on saying: “I’m fine, really, no need to worry about me. They’ve signed a peace treaty and I’ll be staying to help them out with keeping the peace.”

The Wookie gave her a box of her belongings, and as a few Stormtroopers stepped closer, Rey turned to Hux, wondering why.

“Standard procedure,” he explained. “They will scan it for explosives and such.”

She had an annoyed expression, but allowed it none the less.

Before the Wookie left, Rey spoke gently with him, and Hux couldn’t overhear everything, but it seemed like she was comforting him before she rubbed his arm and then gave him another big hug.

It was only a brief rendezvous, and as they watched the Millennium Falcon depart, Hux saw how Rey sighed longingly as the ship took off. While he dismissed the Stormtroopers again, he moved closer to Rey, stopping by her side as they gazed out over the stars.

“Would you rather leave with the Wookie?” he asked, his question rather direct, but without judgement.

She was quiet for a brief moment. “I’m not sure,” she admitted. “But that vessel gave me my freedom. It was in the possession of Unkar Plutt, and I used it to escape Jakku when the First Order came looking for BB-8.”

Hux nodded. “I can see the irony. And now you are with the First Order.”

She wasn’t certain how to respond to that. Was she, really?

“Come,” he added briefly, and when she rushed to pick up her box of belongings, he added: “We’ll drop that off first. But I have a few things planned for us today.”

 

 

 

After they’d dropped off her books, they briefly returned to the bridge for an update on how the rest of the Galaxy took the news of the peace treaty. Besides that, they were also anxious for news of their allies. They had requested aid in housing the First Order personnel that no longer had a home after the destruction of the Supremacy. Hux had given Mitaka the task of keeping track of these communications, and to look into the offers that were being made. According to the officer, they were receiving many messages, and it would take a while to check which locations would be suitable for short-term placement.

But there was another call that Hux seemed less eager to take, and Rey noticed that he shot her a brief glance before he accepted it. She wasn’t certain way, but remained on edge as the hologram lit up and an elderly officer addressed Hux.

“Supreme Leader Hux. May I congratulate you on your new title?”

Hux inclined his head gracefully. “Allegiant General Pryde – it is a pleasure to see you, as always.”

“Thank you, sir,” the older man replied, his posture as stiff as Hux’s, and Rey found their way of communicating very unnatural. She wondered if there was any real trust between the men, or if that was just a façade. “I have read the peace treaty and wish to offer my services. I secretly hoped you were considering me for the task at hand?”

Hux inclined his head again. “Indeed – I had thought of you and your crew. As you must also know, not a single Resistance member shall ever be stationed on your vessel.”

“Naturally,” Pryde agreed. “I had not taken you for a fool. I find the decision to keep the Resistance members alive…” He measured his words carefully. “Suspect.”

“Understood,” Hux acknowledged. “In short, I believe a truce can bring more stability to this part of the galaxy than bloodshed ever did. I am willing to give you an audience – in private – if you so please.”

Rey’d been listening carefully, and suddenly realized that the Allegiant General turned his head towards her.

“Even without your bodyguard?” There was disdain in the way he talked about her, and Rey frowned.

“Perhaps,” Hux replied, not willing to make any promises yet. “Tomorrow at 1100 hours? Does that suit you?”

“Perfectly.”

After the two men shared a brief nod, the comlink was disrupted, and Hux indicated to Rey that they were done on the bridge for now.

Once alone in the corridor, they headed to a lower deck, but Rey was curious.

“Who was he? His outfit was different.”

“An allegiant general. The highest ranked allegiant officer in the First Order. They are tasked with testing loyalties and have kept some of the First Order’s oldest secrets.”

“Do I have to be there tomorrow, when you see him?” Rey asked, finding the older man quite intimidating. She just didn’t trust him.

“No, I think it’s better you’re not there. He will probably want to see you, to interrogate you, but I’ll keep him off your back. I trust you. I don’t need him to question that.”

Rey’s heart jumped at those words, and she smiled warmly.

“Thank you.”

He replied with a smile of his own for the briefest moment, before he focused on where they were going. A few minutes later, they found themselves in a training room that was completely deserted.

“I asked to keep it empty for a few hours,” Hux explained as Rey looked around. “It can get rather crowded in here and I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

She saw treadmills and weights and other devices meant to give soldiers a decent workout, as well as a large mat in the middle of the room, most likely for training combat methods.

She followed Hux to some lockers, and as he opened one, he took out a pile of clothes.

“I had these delivered here for you. You can use them for training, but also after.”

Rey saw that the black pants were elegant and quite simple, as was the black sleeveless shirt with a small collar. He also took a pair of black shoes from the locker and handed them to her, along with some long leather gloves and finally, a pea coat that was unlike any she’d seen so far in the First Order.

“Last night, when you’d returned to your room, I ordered a handmade coat for you. A short one, as you can see, so it does not restrict your movement, with a small belt on which you can hang your lightsaber.”

The cinched belt looked beautiful, but Rey wasn’t certain if the wide sleeves were practical. Still, to her the pea coat looked impressive. The collar was high and could be closed by a few small buttons at the front, and she liked the two rows of larger buttons in the middle of the jacket. It was extremely elegant, yet still practical.

“Thank you,” she said briefly, a bit taken aback by these gifts.

Hux didn’t say anything, but instead opened another locker as he started taking off his cloak and then his vest, remaining in nothing but his black undershirt and pants before he said: “Take your time. I’ll get started on the treadmill.”

She was glad that she didn’t need to change in his presence, but figured that to most in the First Order, there was no such thing as privacy. These lockers and the sonic showers explained it. There was nowhere to hide from sight. Not just that, but she knew that most Stormtroopers and officers did not have rooms of their own. They almost always shared them with others. Only higher ranking officials were granted the luxury of privacy, and this was only because they sometimes dealt with confidential matters.

She put her old clothes in the locker before she changed into her new ones, and had to admit that everything fit like a charm. There was a mirror against the wall, and as she looked into it while she wore her new jacket, she thought she looked very fancy indeed. She didn’t look like a nobody when she wore clothes like this, but she didn’t look like a Jedi either. The clothes were too dark for that, and her affiliation to the First Order was rather obvious, even if there was no logo embroidered onto any part of the fabric.

At least she wouldn’t stand out as much anymore if she wore this, and she went into the training area to show Hux. He was completely focused as he was running, already working up a sweat, though it seemed he had his breathing well under control. He went quite fast.

When Rey stopped in front of him, he turned down the speed until he came to a full stop, and he had an approving gaze in his eyes.

“It fits you well,” he said briefly, uncertain what else to say that wouldn’t sound sappy. For a moment he had considered using the term ‘beautiful’, but perhaps that wasn’t exactly the message he wanted to give her. “You should take off the cloak for your training though.”

Rey nodded and took it off, but undid the belt first, because she intended to hang it around her waist, the lightsaber still attached.

Hux noticed that. “Rey, you don’t need to carry the lightsaber on you right now. We’re quite safe.”

She considered that for a moment and nodded, leaving the belt with the cloak, though she was determined not to let it out of her sight.

“Let’s go to the mat,” Hux said. “I want to see your fighting skills.”

Rey followed him, but frowned. “You want to fight me?”

He nodded. “Yes. I wouldn’t trust anyone else to train with you, to be honest. If you have weaknesses, I’d rather assess them myself before I let any rumors spread about them.”

She watched as he started stretching, uncertain what to do herself. She’d never stretched in her lifetime, not like that.

“Don’t you warm up?” he asked her, raising an eyebrow, and she frowned.

“Not in front of an audience,” she admitted.

He chuckled at that.

“I forgot for a moment that you grew up on your own. In the First Order, privacy is a luxury most do not have. Follow my lead. Stand behind me if you feel awkward about being seen.”

That did comfort her, and she moved a few meters behind him, copying his movements and listening to Hux’s pointers about which muscles she was loosening and how it was normal if she felt a tension or an ache because of it.

He had an elegance about him as he moved, and she figured that he had to be a graceful fighter.

When he turned around once they were done warming up, he beckoned her to walk to the middle of the mat with him.

“Alright,” he said, assuming a fighting stance. “Show me what you got.”

Rey looked a little lost though. She had fought people before, but it had always been with a purpose, not for sport. Noticing her hesitation, Hux relaxed again, placing his hands on his hips.

“What is it?” he asked, and she could hear some impatience in his tone.

After gulping once, she explained: “I don’t want to hurt you. Besides, what is my goal? Am I supposed to knock you unconscious or…”

He grinned at that. “You may try.”

She couldn’t help but smile because of how cocky he sounded. “Are you certain?”

As he nodded, she took a deep breath and sighed, and when he resumed his fighting stance again, she approached him with her own hands held up in a similar way as he held his.

She had never started a fight without her staff, and as she swung at him, he blocked her arm easily. She tried a few more times to hit him, but he wasn’t impressed at all. Deciding to go for a kick, she suddenly found her foot grabbed by both of his hands and lifted higher in the air than was comfortable to her, causing her to lose her balance and fall flat on her back when he let go of her again.

Frustrated by how worthless he managed to make her look, she got up again, determined to land at least one punch, and she was faster and lighter on her feet this time, but so was Hux, and he was able to predict her moves without the Force as his ally.

He made her slam in defeat against the mat at least five more times before she grunted and took a moment to think, noticing in his gaze that he was trying to read her mind, so he could protect himself against her.

She didn’t understand why the Force wasn’t helping her, until she realized that she wasn’t at peace at all, and so she took a moment to breathe and find her bearing before she went in again, striking at him, and realizing that she was able to anticipate his blocks much better than before.

She could see the ebb and flow in their fight – like it was a perfectly balanced spectacle of give and take. Every logical move led to an equally logical counter-move.

There was no way to break through his defense that way. However badly she wanted to punch him in the face, she found that she couldn’t, and that he was always one step ahead.

He hadn’t laid out any rules to her though, and realizing that the only way to break through would be to be creative with how he anticipated her movements, she swung back her fist, to which she knew he would ready himself to block it, but instead of focusing on the punch, she quickly kicked him in the balls, causing him to double up and fall to the mat.

“Ha!” she shouted triumphantly, too proud to pay much attention to his groaning, and she sounded smug as she continued: “I assume I don’t really need to punch you unconscious now?”

Hux was panting as he faced the mat and tried to crawl up again, shaking his head.

“I guess this one was on me,” he admitted in a pained tone as he got up again, looking uncomfortable, and as Rey saw his dazed expression, she gulped.

“Are you alright?”

“A bruised ego, mostly,” he said in a voice that sounded higher than usual.

Rey scratched the back of her head and smiled apologetically. “Sorry. I didn’t know how else to break through your defense.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “There aren’t supposed to be ways to break through my defense,” he admitted. “But you did well enough. Your hand-to-hand combat skills are very sloppy though, not to mention easy to predict.”

Rey frowned. “I never fought hand to hand. I usually fought using my quarterstaff.”

He was intrigued by that.

“Hold up.”

He got up and stepped away from the mat to head to the lockers to the side, opening a few until he found two long quarterstaffs, one of the many weapons Stormtroopers and Officers liked to train with.

As he tossed her a staff, he thought she looked quite elegant as she caught it and then immediately spun it around, checking its weight and handle.

“It’s a bit different than my old one,” she admitted as she moved the staff smoothly around her, then hit the air with it. She smiled approvingly at the whipping sound it made before she spun the staff behind her back, showing Hux that she wasn’t an amateur when it came to her weapon of choice.

“Go easy on me,” he said teasingly as he took a firm hold of the staff in front of him, and soon they were at it again.

Rey did go easy on him, starting with some basic moves so he could get used to blocking them and handling the staff. It was clear that she was his superior in this regard. He tried to attack her a few times, but she was able to block it each time, and one time she even managed to strike the staff from his hands.

Instead of picking up his own staff, he kicked it to the side, assuming another fighting stance while he invited her to attack him.

“You have no weapon!” she argued.

He showed her the palms of his hands. “I do.”

Rey frowned. “It will hurt.”

“No more than usual.”

Though she wasn’t certain what he meant by that, she nodded. If he wanted to fight her without a weapon, he could.

As she swung for him, she did not expect him to grab her staff the way he did and he jerked it from her hand, tossing it to the side before he went in for a punch of his own, punching her in the throat so she suddenly found herself without a means to breathe easily, and only when she fell back to the floor, did she feel like she could breathe again.

She found Hux standing above her with his hand stretched out to her. Though she wanted to take it, she saw how bruised it was from the earlier impact with the staff, and so she didn’t. Though he didn’t seem to be in pain, she didn’t feel good about adding further injury or strain to it.

She got up on her own accord, but took his hand in hers as she looked how his pale skin was turning blue, and he looked at her concerned expression.

“Nothing to fret over,” he told her softly.

As she looked into his eyes, she saw that he wasn’t upset with her at all, instead, he seemed proud. She wasn’t certain if he was proud of himself or of her.

“We should do this more often,” he continued. “It’s fun.”

She hadn’t thought she’d ever hear him describe anything as ‘fun’, but couldn’t help but smile at those words. Maybe he wasn’t always as serious as she had imagined him to be. But she did not forget for a single moment just how ambitious he was.

“You just want to be able to say you can defeat a Jedi, don’t you?” she asked teasingly.

He shrugged casually, putting his hands in his pockets as he looked down at her.

“You’re starting to get to know me,” he admitted with a half-smile, and she chuckled in return.

Though she was aware of how what he said was the truth, she also realized that she had never intended to get to know him better. And part of her felt like she still knew barely anything about him. It was a little terrifying to realize that somewhere, she _liked_ him. She wanted to know him better. He was kinder to her than she had ever imagined any First Order general could be.

“Go and take a sonic shower,” he told her. “I’ll spend some more time on the treadmill before I join you.”

Her heart beat a little faster at the mention that he would join her.

That was honestly one thing she didn’t want him to do too quickly, and so she wasted no time in stepping away to clean herself.

It was the briefest sonic shower she had ever taken, and she dressed faster than she ever had before, glad when she was wearing a clean shirt and able to put on her new cloak once more. She felt rather fancy, but was not ready to depart with her old clothes. She folded them neatly together, and when Hux entered, he looked at her approvingly.

“It suits you well,” he said, and as he walked to his locker, Rey followed his back with her eyes. When he started to take off his shirt, his back still turned to her, she hastily grabbed her clothes and walked off into the training room.

“I can look into having more clothes made for you,” he said as he threw his shirt on the floor and took a clean one from the locker. “There’s no need to look the same…” As he turned around and noticed she had hurried off already, he hesitated before he finished his sentence: “…every day.”

He smiled to himself as he realized she’d been too awkward to stay behind with him. Maybe one day she’d be used to the First Order and learn that there was no shame between peers. She probably didn’t consider herself a peer just yet. Maybe one day…


	12. A Change of Scenery

They fell into a rhythm.

Each morning, they had breakfast together, headed to the bridge, went to meetings, exercised in the training room, then had lunch in the mess hall, patrolled the ship, headed to the bridge again, then went to more meetings before they finally retreated to their quarters.

Rey spent her evenings trying to read the Jedi books.

Hux spent his nights listening to her toss and turn, waking her whenever the nightmares caused Millicent to meow in protest.

His sleep was suffering, but he did not complain about it. She in turn noticed the dark rings underneath his eyes, but also assumed that it had to do with the responsibilities he had gained as Supreme Leader. It had to be a heavy burden, and she had noticed how some generals talked disdainfully of him and dared to question his decisions. Especially the peace treaty wasn’t approved by all that were higher in rank. Hux often shut them up with a strict gaze, but Rey could sense how opposed some of his generals were to the fact that there were former Resistance enemies among them now.

Rey had heard of how her old allies had been transferred to other vessels and planets, and though she had been worried about the fact how they’d all been isolated, Hux had assured her that it was part of the peace treaty that they would be valued, not bullied.

She feared sometimes that it was too good to believe and that many of them were much worse off right now.

Someone who still gave her hope despite all of that, was Lieutenant Mitaka.

He was the brightest First Order employee on the ship, according to Rey. He had the incredible task of finding suitable lodgings for the stranded First Order crew and was under extreme pressure, yet always found it in himself to respond with a small smile and more patience than Rey had ever mustered to whatever question Hux asked.

She found him a delight, and Hux noticed how she always responded pleasantly to him.

Rey wasn’t the only former Resistance member aboard their vessel. General Organa had transferred as well, along with C-3PO and Lieutenant Connix. The three shared their quarters and General Organa met with Hux at least once a day, still without Rey present. The protocol droid and lieutenant were allowed to attend, as was Lieutenant Mitaka. According to Hux, the two lieutenants had begun to work together, investigating which planets were suitable to continue the training of the youngest members of the First Order on.

Rey didn’t think it was strange that she never just talked with Leia or Lieutenant Connix. She’d never had friends or even acquaintances before. The idea that anyone would go out of their way to ask her about her day, was one she hadn’t even considered. She didn’t find it suspicious that they didn’t address her or that she wasn’t allowed into their meetings. Instead, she found it important to keep watch as well as she could, and she usually glared strictly at whoever passed by in the corridor.

She remained convinced that she wasn’t qualified for the job of protecting Hux, but she tried to take it seriously.

But when it was time to sleep, her job was the last thing on her mind. When she was alone with her thoughts, she thought of Finn and BB-8 and Luke, and wondered where they were or what they were doing. She thought of Kylo and her heart ached. She thought of Snoke and she felt a shiver run down her spine.

And when she slept, she never knew in what order these people would appear to her, but they usually did, leaving her bathing in sweat and aching all over. She only woke because of Hux touching her shoulders, gently shaking her awake, or repeating her name over and over again until he banished her nightmares to the back of her mind.

Unfortunately, this night was worse.

Hux hadn’t had a decent night’s rest since he’d met her. Maybe it wasn’t fair to blame it all on her, as his Supreme Leader responsibilities kept him up as well. But she was a handful at night.

When he woke, he found his own bed shaking, and as he realized he heard something creaking in the other room, he pushed the blankets off him, rushing out of bed on his bare feet to turn on the light in Rey’s room.

What he saw, frightened him though. Everything in the room was shaking, and even Millicent had cowered away in fear, probably in the bathroom, while Rey hung in the air, her posture pained. It almost seemed like she wasn’t doing this herself, but like it was something Snoke was doing to her. He heard her moan in pain, and though he was afraid to be hurt himself, he still stepped closer to her, stretching out his arms underneath her so he could catch her.

It was then that he realized the creaking he had heard came from the wall – it was almost like she was pushing against the metal itself, trying to break free from her nightmare.

He felt surprisingly light himself, and noticed that the sofa and the small table were no longer touching the floor. If he wasn’t quick, he’d be floating around as well due to whatever trick her mind was playing on her.

“Rey!” he called out. “Rey, wake up!”

She gasped, and as her body suddenly relaxed, she fell down into his arms, completely disoriented and grabbing hold of him in a reflex.

While Rey held her bare arms tightly around Hux’s neck for support, she noticed that everything else had once more fallen to the floor and this confused her greatly.

“What… what happened?”

“You were floating,” he said softly, glad that it was over now. “Don’t you remember?”

She nodded absentmindedly. “I was dreaming. But…” She seemed ashamed and frustrated, and it brought tears to her eyes. “… I didn’t realize that I was suspended in mid-air here as well.”

“Unfortunately, you were,” he replied, still holding her in his arms, surprised by how light she was, and even more so by how soft her skin felt against his neck. For a moment, he even forgot how to breathe. All he could do was gaze into her frightened eyes. Was it cruel of him to think of them as beautiful while she was in such distress?

She hadn’t attempted to move out of his arms just yet, but it suddenly dawned on her how strange this was, and she moved as a sign that she wanted to be put down again.

He respectfully allowed her to stand on her own two feet, his hands on her hips to keep her steady, and he noticed that she held onto him for support a few moments longer than was necessary. Her hands on his shoulders caused his skin to tickle pleasantly, and his breathing was a little heavier than usual.

She distanced herself quite suddenly and went to sit down on the sofa. He willingly followed her lead, sitting down on the small table in front of her.

“You were moaning in pain,” he said without judgement in his tone, though she could hear he was curious.

There was no use in keeping it from him. She trusted him with her nightmares.

“I was back on the Supremacy,” she confessed. “Snoke was torturing me.”

“Did he make you float in the air?” he asked, and as he saw her nod, he felt frustrated with the former Supreme Leader. He had hurt her, and nearly turned her into a liability. But he was certain that she could still be helped. She could be stabilized and made into a strong ally. He believed that with all his heart.

“You’re torturing yourself with these nightmares,” he remarked softly.

She could tell from the way he sat there that he had no intent of returning to his bed just yet. Usually he did just that, but this time it seemed there was more on his mind.

“Your nightmares worry me,” he told her, and he could see how she looked away in shame, but still continued. “I spoke to Leia about them today,” he admitted. “She suggested a change of scenery. Did you know she’s Force-sensitive?”

Rey shrugged. “I guess… I sensed it that she was strong with the Force the first time I met her.”

“Well, she says that the Force on this vessel is not very balanced or calming. She says nature would have a positive effect, so tomorrow we’re heading to another place for a little while. You’ll have the opportunity to meditate and hopefully it will be able to put you back on the path to inner peace.”

Rey wasn’t certain if she appreciated the fact that he had discussed this without her consent, but figured she had no say in the matter. Another part found it surprising that he had even considered it.

“Am I not holding you back?” she asked softly. “Any other bodyguard would not give you the amount of trouble I’m giving you right now.”

“I know it’s not in your control,” he replied patiently. “And if I didn’t believe that this investment would pay off, you wouldn’t be on this vessel right now.”

Though she didn’t like to be thought of as an investment, she still nodded.

“I’m going to help you,” he continued with his chin lifted proudly. “You’ll be a proper Jedi soon enough.”

She raised an eyebrow at that, not fully convinced just yet.

“I’m just afraid that…” Once more it was hard for her to voice her thoughts and feelings, but she took a brave little breath before she admitted: “I’m afraid that I’m distracting you from your other duties. You’re the Supreme Leader now, and I’m a nuisance.”

“Not a nuisance,” Hux argued stubbornly. “Or if you are, then you are a welcome one. You’re my protection.”

She rolled her eyes, still not believing that she was any good at that.

“I’m certain there are more capable people in the First Order that would do better than me.”

“Maybe, but I don’t trust them.”

She was quiet as she looked into his eyes, surprised by those words.

“You trust me?”

“To not stab me in the back?” He smiled. “Yes, I do. You’ve had opportunity for it, and you haven’t. We might not see eye to eye on all subjects, but we can deal with it like adults. I like that.”

Her worried look of before had disappeared, and she even seemed a little moved by what he’d said.

“That’s kind of you to say,” she said honestly. “Thank you.”

The best way to get Hux to leave was usually to say something nice. He never seemed to know how to deal with it, and this time as well he got up and folded his hands behind his back, looking rather awkward as he stood before her in nothing but his sleepwear, his pale and bare arms contrasting against the red in his cheeks.

She was pleased to see she was able to make him blush.

“I hope that this time tomorrow you’ll sleep well,” he offered politely. “And I also hope you get some more sleep now. Good night, Rey.”

Part of her didn’t want him to leave, and she asked: “You will leave the door open, right?”

Her voice sounded much smaller than she had wanted it to.

“Of course,” he assured her, though he added a little desperately: “Not that it really seems to help against your nightmares.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, once more feeling like she wasn’t worth the time and patience he had already invested in her.

“Don’t apologize,” he said briefly. “We’ll figure this out.”

She was feeling overwhelmed by his kindness and patience with her, and considered for a moment that she wanted a hug. Without further hesitation, she got up from where she sat to walk over to him.

He shot her a wary gaze for a moment, but didn’t protest when she suddenly threw her arms around him and rested her head against his shoulder. He wasn’t used to the sensation at all, but carefully wrapped his arms around her as well, holding her close for a brief moment, hoping that she couldn’t feel how quickly his heart was beating. Their arms were bare and cold, but so much warmer when wrapped around one another, and he felt a pleasant squeeze in his stomach as she hugged him so tightly.

Afraid to hold her for too long, he let go of her again, and she cast her eyes down rather shyly. “Sorry for keeping you from your sleep,” she muttered. “Sleep well, Hux.”

He had a small smile on his face. “You too, Rey.”

 

 

The next day, Hux didn’t tell Rey where they were headed and Rey, surprisingly, didn’t mind. Anything had to be better than the crammed Star Destroyer. She looked forward to visiting another planet. Her visits to Ahch-To and Takodana had been too short, and she hoped that wherever they were going, there was going to be a lot of green.

They spent some more time on the bridge and in meetings before an Upsilon-class command shuttle was prepared for them and they flew the final parsecs in the company of two pilots and half a dozen stormtroopers. Millicent was caged during the trip, and Rey thought she was surprisingly calm about it, not even meowing in protest.

They couldn’t see anything from the hold where they waited for their arrival, and while Hux was reading datapads and tapping the screen furiously as he entered more commands in them, Rey looked around.

She never knew if the stormtroopers were looking at her or not behind their helmets, but even if they were, she felt no hostility from them. These were good men, fully dedicated to their jobs and without animosity to either of them. She thought that she could pick up how one of them was scared of Millicent, and couldn’t resist a smile because of it.

When the vessel started trembling, she realized that it was breaking the atmosphere of the planet and descending, and when the ship set down upon the planet, both Hux and Rey got up and the landing door opened to reveal bright sunlight outside. Blinking, they covered their eyes as they stepped out.

Rey could not resist a smile as she saw that they had come to a grassy region, and that there were lush green hills and forests all around them. The perfectly blue sky was painted with a few white clouds, and Rey could see birds high above them.

It was a beautiful planet, and as she looked at Hux by her side, she saw that he was sneering as he looked around, apparently rather annoyed by the sunlight in his eyes.

“Welcome to Naboo,” he told her without much emotion, and her mouth dropped a little.

“Naboo?” she repeated, trying to remember all she could about the planet. “Home to the Naboo and Gungans, located in the Chommelll sector. I had imagined it darker, more ‘swamplike’!”

“It has quite a few swamps,” Hux told her as he folded his hands behind his back. “But we’re not in that sort of area. We’re quite far from any Naboo or Gungans or any cities. Instead, we’re near some old properties of one of the former Queens of Naboo. While the buildings may seem antique, they have recently been purchased and equipped with the latest technologies. We’ve rented a few buildings in this region and have been ensured that they should be quite safe.”

As Rey looked around, she didn’t initially see buildings, until she noticed that behind the command shuttle, there were half a dozen houses on a hillside, and she thought they looked quite charming.

Hux didn’t feel the same, and he muttered: “I had imagined them bigger, to be honest.”

“They look rather big to me,” Rey said, and while the pilots stayed behind, they joined the others in a walk towards the houses.

The stormtroopers were armed with blasters and looked around cautiously before they started walking, but Rey smiled while she opened herself to the Force.

“There is no one around,” she said warmly. “I can sense it. This really does seem to be the middle of nowhere.”

“That was what we agreed upon,” Hux continued. “We didn’t want to disturb those that live on this planet.”

“Or do you mean that you don’t want them to disturb you?” Rey asked slyly, and she saw how Hux offered her a half-smile at that.

“That too,” he admitted.

As Millicent started meowing, the Stormtrooper that was carrying her basket looked to Hux and Rey, and Hux took the basket from him, which did nothing to stop Millicent’s crying.

“She wants out,” Rey said. It was easy to sense.

“Maybe once we’re in the building,” Hux muttered. “I don’t want her out just yet. If she got lost here, I would never forgive myself.”

Rey could understand that, and was glad that she wasn’t caged as she walked through the grass. It felt wonderful – and the air seemed so much cleaner than it had been on their previous vessels, or even on Crait.

“Why Naboo?” she asked. It seemed an awfully beautiful and elegant planet, one that didn’t match the style of the First Order at all.

“It was the home world of the Emperor in the time of the Empire,” Hux told her. “And Leia said that it would be good for your meditations.”

Rey nodded, she could already feel that.

“I think so too,” she admitted. “I can’t wait to begin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nanowrimo is about to begin, and I'm about to continue working on Breathe. For a few months, I let it lie. (Though rest assured, I already have up to chapter 25 completely done and written out, it's past that point that I need to continue... I could have shared more with you guys and I didn't and for that I'm sorry! Plz poke me if you ever feel I'm forgetting the story - I was very occupied with The Sims 4 (creating a Star Wars modpack) and then I kind of forgot that I wrote fanfiction too. XD Whoops.) Hope you enjoyed the chapter, let me know your thoughts in a comment, it would mean the world to me!


	13. Focus and Meditate

The stormtroopers didn’t join them into the same house that Hux was staying in, but instead headed to the other houses. The houses looked old on the outside, made of brick, marble and glass, and there were plants overgrowing some of the walls and pillars. A few other stormtroopers were in the gardens and grassy fields around them, scouting the perimeter of the large domain, and Rey thought that the white armors looked rather silly in the beautiful nature around them.

Once they entered their house, Hux and Rey were alone again.

Inside, Rey couldn’t remark anything negative about the rooms they walked through. There was an office not too far from the door, a kitchen, a living room, another leisure room, a library and a storage with stairs that led into a basement. They didn’t explore it for now, and instead headed to the upstairs rooms. There were no less than five bedrooms and three bathrooms, and Hux immediately picked his own and appointed Rey to the one on the other side of the corridor. She didn’t protest, knowing that he would keep an eye on her in case the nightmares returned. And in her own job, it was best to be close to him.

Her bed looked so much more luxurious than anything she’d ever seen, but Hux wasn’t impressed.

“They said that former Queens of Naboo used to come here. I had expected more of it.”

“It’s lovely,” Rey defended the place. “And on such a beautiful planet too.”

He could not remark on the nature around them, and just briefly said: “I have more work to do. I’ll be in the downstairs office, if you don’t mind. Maybe you could go out in the garden to meditate?”

She didn’t protest. “Of course.”

“I’ll be letting Millicent out in my office. Don’t open the door unless you’ve made sure she can’t run outside.”

“I’ll knock,” she promised.

When she found herself in the garden ten minutes later, she still felt a little trapped. She looked at the mountains and fields in the distance, and even spotted a few lakes, and she wanted to go and explore it for herself. Unfortunately, she had to remain near Hux while he was working. Not just that, but he was expecting her to meditate, not to run off to see what she could find on this beautiful planet.

She sat down in the grass and closed her eyes while she placed her hands on her knees, but she could hear stormtroopers talking in the distance. They were out of sight, but still distracted her.

Opening her eyes again, she took off her black jacket and lay down in the grass in her tank top, looking up at the sky. There were beautiful clouds soaring high above her, and she loved the sight of them. Jakku’s sky had always been spotless, but each cloud she saw here was like a work of art in itself. She could see a million things in them, and couldn’t help but feel heartache because of it.

When Hux took a small break a while later to get something to drink from the kitchen, he looked out the window to see Rey laying in the grass with her hands on her stomach as she looked up at the sky, and he couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. That didn’t seem like a proper way to meditate.

For a brief moment, his eyes lingered over her form. His gaze was dark as he felt his heartbeat quicken, and his mouth grew a little dry as he remembered the sensation of her skin against his while they had trained together – or the memory of how she had hugged him the night before.

Her body looked soft and inviting, and as his body began to respond to it, he turned his head away and cleared his throat. He wasn’t going to give into that type of thought – he would not allow himself to think of her that way.

He had forgotten all about his drink and instead walked out the door towards her, and when she heard him approach, she immediately sat up again.

“You’re not meditating,” he said, his tone accusatory, and Rey gulped.

“No, I’m… I’m not, I’m sorry. I want to go further away from here to meditate. The stormtroopers are distracting me.”

As Hux was quiet and could hear them talking, he decided: “I will tell them they are forbidden to talk.”

Rey got up. “No, please…” She took her jacket and rushed into it before she walked over to him so he wouldn’t go and give that command just yet. “Let them talk. They’re not even talking that much, and they need to be able to communicate with one another in order to do their job. The problem is me.”

She could see how upset he was.

“Rey, you need to focus and meditate. That’s the only reason we’re here.”

She didn’t like the feeling of guilt that came with those words.

Was it wise to admit that she hardly knew how to? Luke had guided her the time before, but this spot didn’t feel right. As she looked towards the hills, she nodded towards one of them.

“I want to go there to meditate. May I?”

Hux followed her gaze. “Up that hill?”

She nodded. “To that tree up there.”

Though the hillside itself was covered with trees, it seemed that the large tree on top of it was solitary, and he nodded.

“Only there,” he told her. “I need to know where you are. And take a comlink with you. I want to be able to reach you.”

Rey nodded happily, glad that she was allowed to go and explore a bit. Even if it was just up the hill and back. It would still be an hour’s walk to make it there, she imagined.

As agreed, she left with Hux’s comlink, but he also prepared a bottle of water for her and even packed her some fruits. She was very excited about those, and as he handed her the small bag, she couldn’t help but smile, eager to get out for a moment.

“Don’t run away, okay,” he said in a softer tone than usual, and those words shocked her.

“Run away?” She looked at him with wide eyes. “Hux, I wouldn’t! I gave you my word then and I’ll give it again now.”

He seemed to relax at that, and nodded briefly.

“I’ll be here,” he told her, and she could only smile.

“I know. I’ll be back.”

 

 

The hike itself was wonderful. At some moments she ran, just because she could. Every now and then she would turn around to look at the house she had left behind, and the two neighboring houses close to it. She could see stormtroopers grow smaller and smaller until even they weren’t visible to the naked eye anymore, and it was late afternoon by the time she finally made it to the massive tree on top of the hill. She had never seen a tree its size, and walked around the large stem, counting seventeen steps until she had walked a full circle.

Touching the bark, she closed her eyes and she didn’t find it difficult to pick up the tree’s life Force. Though she wasn’t certain how to go about it, she was certain that the tree would be a good meditating companion, and as she sat down in front of it, with her back turned towards it, she looked out over the valley and looked at the houses once more.

They were safe, she knew that, and she hoped nothing would happen in her absence. Nothing had happened before, but she knew she wouldn’t forgive herself if it did right now.

Closing her eyes again, she tried to concentrate on the Force around her, trying to remember what Luke had told her. She felt the life on the planet, the plants and bugs all around her, as well as the birds in the sky, and the decay beneath the soil on which she sat. But compared to Ahch-To, this place was paradise.

There wasn’t much of the Dark Side to pick up on, and after meditating for close to an hour, she opened her eyes again, sighing because of how little difference it seemed to make to her. Because the moment her mind allowed it, she was back to thinking about the strange turns her life had taken after she had encountered BB-8 on Jakku. She thought about the friends she had gained and the one friend she had lost.

Maybe no one would understand that she thought of Kylo as a friend, but the more she thought about him, the worse she felt, and it didn’t take her long before she was crying again.

She had killed a friend. And in some way, she could tell herself it was an accident, like she did every morning when she woke, but in another way, she knew that in the heat of the moment, she had gone for a strong offense, for a kill. Her heart hadn’t been filled with good things, but with dark thoughts and the feeling that if she didn’t fight, she’d die.

She regretted it so much now, and sat underneath the tree, sobbing, until exhaustion overtook her and she lay down with wet cheeks and drifted off into sleep.

 

 

Working from a private office was something else, but thanks to comlinks and holovids, there was no reason why Hux couldn’t keep an eye over his subjects. Snoke had hardly ever met with anyone in person, and had still managed to run the First Order.

Then again, Hux thought darkly to himself, Snoke had been able to keep an eye on everyone by using the Force. He had no such way to keep track of what was in the hearts of his men. All he had was Allegiant General Pryde and his weekly reports about the loyalty of the troops.

Luckily there were also security holos and reports that allowed him to keep a good overview of what was going on. And meetings tended to be shorter if he didn’t need to be there in person.

He was able to finish up rather early that day, and as he felt rather peckish, he went into the kitchen to grab a piece of fruit. Looking through the storage, he found that there was quite a bit of food there, but he honestly had no idea on how to start cooking anything up. He was used to First Order rations and nutrients, and even the fruit tasted weird to him – too sweet, and he frowned because of it.

Maybe Rey would have a better idea on what to do with all the food, and as he headed outside, he had hoped to find her back in the garden. The sun was already setting, though it would still be over an hour before it was completely dark, and he wondered if she was on her way back yet.

Deciding he wouldn’t wait for it, he headed towards the tree on the hilltop himself. Would she be there, as she had promised? She had told him she wouldn’t run, and he still believed that, though he was worried because she was so late already.

As he reached the perimeter of where the stormtroopers were patrolling, they addressed him. “Sir, would you like us to accompany you?”

“I should be quite alright, thank you,” he replied, showing his pistol underneath his robe. “I assume you haven’t seen any strange activity in this region?”

“Negative, sir,” one of the stormtroopers replied, and Hux nodded.

“Should the situation change, alert my com.”

The further he walked, the better he could understand why Rey had wanted to be alone. Privacy in the First Order was non-existent. Hux hadn’t felt as alone in years, but it was a good feeling. It felt liberating in a way.

He walked for a long while, not looking back unless he wanted to be certain he was still on the right path, but suddenly stopped as he felt something.

The ground was vibrating, and he knelt down as he listened intently for the origin of the sound. But there were no transports or animals nearby.

Was it an earthquake? As he heard the forest creak around him, his eyes suddenly widened. He’d heard similar creaks before – and he feared what it meant.

Without waiting another second, he started running up the hill, trying not to lose his balance as the ground shook beneath him, until he neared the tree and saw Rey lying there.

He almost tripped as he neared her, and eventually fell down by her side, crawling up to cradle her shoulders in his arms.

The tree itself seemed to feel it as well, its branches trembling even when there was no wind, and he called out her name as he desperately looked at her.

“Rey! Rey, wake up!”

But she was unable to hear him, and as he squeezed her shoulders, she suddenly jerked awake, her gaze bewildered as she looked at him and then around her, her entire body shaking.

He wanted to ask her what had happened this time, but instead saw how she immediately began crying, desperation in her sobs as she tried to hide her face against his chest, not really hugging him but just holding onto the hem of his cloak instead.

He felt frustrated and angry because even here she wasn’t able to get rid of those dreams, and it apparently hadn’t been wise to let her go on her own. But he knew that voicing that would only upset her more.

She had obeyed him in that she hadn’t run off, and for that he was grateful, and as he saw that she hadn’t even touched the provisions he had given her, he took the little bag and pulled out the bottle of water, offering it to her.

Without hesitation, she took it from his hands to drink a bit, and while she was still sniffing, he wiped his gloved fingers over her cheeks to dry her tears away, and he saw how sadly she looked at him as he did that.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked her, and he noticed how she averted her eyes self-consciously. She was ashamed.

“It wasn’t Snoke this time,” she admitted.

“I figured. You were just laying here this time, not floating,” he told her, knowing she didn’t have a strong sense of self during her dreams. “But even then, the ground shook.”

He noticed how she closed her eyes with a pained grimace on her face, like that was the last thing she had wanted to hear him say.

“Didn’t you meditate?” he asked her, and he saw how fresh tears fell from her eyes at that.

“I did,” she told him. “But maybe lack of meditation isn’t the problem, nor is meditation the solution.”

“Then what is?” He sounded impatient, but at least was able to keep the judgement from his gaze.

She shrugged with tears in her eyes. “I wish I knew. My meditation itself was fine, but I just… I feel…”

As she stopped talking, Hux tilted his head curiously.

“Feel what?”

“Lost,” she admitted sadly. “Alone.”

He patted her hand softly. “You’re not alone,” he told her, but when she looked up at him in a mixture of horror, he didn’t realize why. “I mean… we’re nearly always together now.”

Realizing that he was trying to comfort her and not trying to bring back memories of Kylo, she took a deep breath.

“I know,” she sighed. “But while you fit in so well in the First Order, I feel like such an outcast. And I’m so much more trouble than what I’m worth.” She put her face in her hands for a brief moment, suddenly realizing something. “Did you come here without any guards?”

He offered her a smile. “Yes. And I had a delightful walk. So don’t worry about that. This planet is quite safe. There was nothing around you could have protected me from.”

Rey closed her eyes and shook her head. “I suppose I’m the only dangerous thing here. I wish I could control my dreams better.”

Hux suddenly perked up, as though that reminded him of something, and he bit his lip for a brief moment, before he got up, and pulled her up with him.

“As a matter of fact, there might be something that might help!” he told her.

“What?” She looked at him with a hopeful gaze. She would take any means to sleep without causing so much trouble.

He started frowning as he remembered more, and shook his head. “I’m not entirely certain if it would work. In fact, I’d need to look into the experiments to see if they were ever successful in the long term.”

“What?” she repeated, intrigued, but also slightly afraid that his frown meant something bad. “Experiments?”

As he started walking back towards the house, she followed him with fast steps, but not before she had grabbed the small bag from the ground.

“At a certain point, a regiment of Stormtroopers bore witness to a most traumatizing event during a mission in a mining colony. Upon their return, dozens had fierce nightmares. Their performance suffered. While there is medicine that would allow them to sleep, it would also have negative side effects on their alertness during the day. So instead, a device was created, a sort of band that you place over your eyes and ears. It would guarantee a dreamless sleep.”

“Oh, that sounds perfect!” Rey immediately replied, but Hux shook his head.

“I’m not certain. Because the moment they stopped using the headband, the nightmares returned, and often worse than before.” Hux shook his head. “I stopped tracking the further development of this experiment, and I’m not certain if they ever found a way around that, but I’d like to look into it.”

She nodded. “If it’s not too much trouble, then it’s certainly worth investigating.”

He nodded briefly, before he added: “I’m also not entirely certain if the device would work on you in the first place. Your Force powers are something I do not fully understand either. It might make you too strong to be controlled by such a device.”

Rey hesitated now. It seemed like a bad idea to subject herself to experimentation. Could it be that that was what he had wanted all along? To find weakness in Force users? She grew very quiet and wary.

Though he noticed her silence, he did not think anything bad about it.

“Do you know how to cook?” he wondered, and Rey raised an eyebrow. That was a change of topic she had not foreseen.

“In theory, a little. But in reality I’ve hardly ever had any food to cook up.”

Hux nodded. “I would rather not ask one of the Stormtroopers to cook for us.”

Rey chuckled. “I understand. Would be rather embarrassing to confess we have no idea how to cook.”

He turned to her and offered her an amused smile.

“I’m sure we’ll be able to figure it out together,” she assured him, and she couldn’t help but feel a little lighter than before as they made the journey back to the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to use the occasion to also direct you fine people to another (shorter) Reyux story which I'm uploading at this moment. It's a story in 3 parts, and it's called Comatose.  
> It's an AU taking place after TROS (though I don't know what happens in that movie any more than you do!) where Hux has survived a battle, but has been in a coma for years. Rey needs a security code and fears Hux's mind is the last place in the galaxy where she can find it. She enters his mind to find the code, but finds so much more...  
> Give it a go, and enjoy!
> 
> (Also, Nano wise I got a little sidetracked, wrote another modern AU, which is also finished now, and I'm only just now continuing the writing on Breathe - but no worries, I'll work on it for the rest of the month!)


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